THE GUY IN DENIAL ABOUT HIS GIRLFRIEND BEING AN ANNOYING B%$ch C*^T
: Lisa’s awesome!
THE GUY IN DENIAL ABOUT HIS GIRLFRIEND BEING AN ANNOYING B%$ch C*^T’s FRIEND: Yeah. So dude, let me know when you dump her.
TGIDAHGBAABC: What? I’m not dumping her?
TG…ABC‘s FRIEND: No, I know you’re not kicking her ass to the curb, like, right now, but let me know when you do because there’s this hot girl who’s doing reception at my office who would definitely blow you.
TGIDAHGBAABC: Yeah, but Lisa’s hot and she already blows me so . . .
TG…ABC’s FRIEND: Right. But just wanna let you know if you want to get rid of Lisa, I got you covered.
TGIDAHGBAABC: Why would I get rid of Lisa? She’s the tits! Throw me a beer.
TG…ABC‘s FRIEND: Right. Okay. Cool.

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TGIDAHGBAABC: Lisa’s so fuckin hot, right?
TG…ABC‘s FRIEND: Yeah, she’s hot. She’s hot, but you know how sometimes after you get to know someone their looks kind of change?
TGIDAHGBAABC: What?
TG…ABC’s FRIEND: Like haven’t you ever been with a girl who’s so hot and then you get to know her and she gets less and less hot the more you get to know her to the point where she’s almost unfuckable?
TGIDAHGBAABC: Uh, no.
TG…ABC’s FRIEND: Really? Never?
TGIDAHGBAABC: No dude. Thow me a beer.
TG…ABC's FRIEND: Right. Okay. Cool.

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TG…ABC‘s FRIEND
: So Lisa really likes being a vegan huh?
TGIDAHGBAABC: Yeah. She’s ripped too. Not an ounce of body fat, brotha.
TG…ABC’s FRIEND: Yeah she talks about it a lot.
TGIDAHGBAABC: About what?
TG…ABC’s FRIEND: Being vegan. She goes on and on…and on about it.
TGIDAHGBAABC: Yeah, she’s passionate dude.
TG…ABC’s FRIEND: Yeah, though sometimes… that’s annoying.
TGIDAHGBAABC: What’s annoying?
TG…ABC’s FRIEND: Um, her. Sometimes…she’s annoying.
TGIDAHGBAABC: Whatever dickweed, you’re just jealous cause my girlfriend’s got a six-pack and yours has a gunt.
TG…ABC‘S FRIEND: (under his breath) rather have a gunt than an annoying cunt.
TGIDAHGBAABC: What?
TG…ABC’s FRIEND: Nothing.
TGIDAHGBAABC: Toss me that last beer.
TG…ABC's FRIEND: Right. Okay. Cool.


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TGIDAHGBAABC: What’s up douchebag?
TG…ABC’s FRIEND: Not too much. You?
TGIDAHGBAABC: Same old shit.
TG…ABC’s FRIEND: You still banging Lisa?
TGIDAHGBAABC: Yeah! I don’t know dude, it’s getting serious. I know it’s only been a couple months-
TG…ABC’s FRIEND: Okay man listen, we all hate your girlfriend.
TGIDAHGBAABC: What?
TG…ABC’s FRIEND: We hate her. We all hate her. We think she’s book smart and really hot, but in this case it’s not enough. She’s materialistic and uninteresting and who gives a fuck how much her earth-friendly purse costs?! And she talks about celebrities like she knows them, and she’s really mean to all our girlfriends and they all hate her too. And she laughs at everything you say and dude you know you’re not that funny. And she quotes movies…all the time as if she wrote the lines herself, but she doesn’t even deliver them well! Last weekend we all sat through eight scenes of Anchorman while waiting for you to show up to the bar.And I used to love that movie and now I hate it! Dude, we hate Lisa. We all hate her.
TGIDAHGBAABC: Wait a minute . . .
TG…ABC‘S FRIEND: And don’t be desperate, don’t be desperate, man. We all think you can find another chick who’s just as hot. Who’s just as hot and who sucks cock just as well, but who doesn’t make all your friends want to hang themselves when they’re around her.
TGIDAHGBAABC: Ahahahahaha, nice try dude. Oh My God, that was good! Ahahahaha, did Chris put you up to this? Nice! Toss me that beer. Oh My God, classic! Anchorman! Nice! So yeah, anyway I think she’s it, I think she’s the one.
TG…ABC's FRIEND: Right. Okay. Cool.