1) The LAPD has the most laid back psychological evaluation ever; being openly suicidal does not affect job security or assignment.

2) Jumping through a glass window hurts, but only slightly.

3) Gun shots hurt about the same as jumping through glass windows.

4) Having a conversation at a shooting range while wearing earmuffs and standing on opposite sides of a wall is standard police procedure and does nothing to affect communication.

5) Police kill people as their primary job function. This requires no paperwork and obviously no psychological evaluation.

6) A six-shooter is a type of revolver pistol whose name is derived from the fact that it can fire 6,000 times without reloading.

7) Mercenaries are referred to as “mercs” by people who have been “in the shit”.

8) Mel Gibson being bat-shit crazy was obvious even 20 years ago.

9) Smoking a joint will ultimately lead to being kidnapped and ransomed by violent drug lords.

10) Drug lords have helicopters, really, really fucking awesome helicopters.

11) Nothing is cooler than a renegade cop who doesn’t play by the rules, nothing.

12) Jumping off of 4 story building takes 15 seconds and 5 camera angles.

13) The most tumultuous times for a police officer are the days right before retirement.