I walked in. The band just started.
The singer couldn't carry a tune in a bucket.
Was on a mission to drown her memory but
I thought "no way" with all this ruckus

But after one round with Jose Cuervo
It was 2-for-1 night, a shot was handed to me
And after two rounds with Jose Cuervo
That made four shots and I got up to pee

Then some stranger asked me, while in the bathroom
You want this shot, I can’t drink no more
Said, "Don't get me wrong – I'm glad you asked
…oh! Did you say I shot, shit yeah, HARDCORE!!"

Then after three rounds with Jose Cuervo
I had seven shots and started to dance
And after four rounds with Jose Cuervo
that ninth shot put me into a trance

Well around five or round six
I forgot that my son was out in my car
And after round seven, or was it eight?
I had fight and got a big dang scar

And after nine rounds with Jose Cuervo
I blacked out and beat a foreigner to death
And after ten rounds with Jose Cuervo
I was taken home by a she-man named Beth

One round with Jack and Coke
I got friends in LOW places….!
Three rounds with… “WHO CUT US OFF?”

(Guys yelling at the Bartender)
Go’on gemme another yuh dumb sumbitch!!
Sir I really can’t serve you anymore…
(Vomiting and yelling)
“I Swear I’ll put a bulldozer through that wall!”
“Sir you’ve had like twenty-sum drinks.”
Two-for-one Jose Cuervo….!!