Something about this morning's DTE didn't sit quite well with me. I know it's been seven years since the show debuted but the storylines seem to be getting really repetitive. A show that's supposed to be encouraging imagination is clearly lacking it. But maybe it's just me. I know everyone seems to point to the third season as the pinnacle of the series' writing, but I will argue that Season Five's "Friendship Day" was probably the most inspired piece since the show's inception.

But I digress.

Dora and Boots are hanging out at the Marquez residence as per usual when her madre comes out with some fresh chocolate chip cookies. Boots makes some inane remark about how chocolate chips make him want to sing or something, I don't really remember because I started tuning him out around the end of last season. Ever since Boots wouldn't shut up about becoming a "Big Monkey Brother" in the newborn twins episode his character just seems to get worse and worse.

Cue Swiper, who seems to be portrayed as especially Puerto Rican in this episode. He grabs the plateful of cookies and says he's going to eat them all at Chocolate Mountain. Dora and Boots ask us if we'll vamanos and get them back. She must have misunderstood my "not a fucking chance" as a yes – I guess something was lost in the translation. So our journey begins. Of course Dora has no clue about how to get to Chocolate Mountain, so she consults the Map. I'm kinda getting sick of seeing the Map – Dora has been to a hundred different places by now, how can she still not know where she's going? It's like the girl who doesn't drive…she never pays attention when she's going anywhere and even though she's been to a place a million times, she couldn't tell you how to get there. Ugh.

So Map tells us that we've got to go through Sunny Flower Meadow and The Giggling River before we can get to Swiper at el montana de chocolato. Dora starts in on her requisite repetition of the directions sixty times. Seriously…all this repeating…over and over…do we honestly still need the Map? Sunny Flower Meadow is up first, but hold on, we can't get through right away. A blistering shockwave is sent through viewers everywhere. Before we can pass, we have to match letters of the alphabet that the Flowers have on their petals. Yup, you heard me. Matching. Again. What I wouldn't give for a number game. Sigh The good old days…

Boots has been practicing his letters so he blows through the matching game, and honestly, it'd be a shame if he didn't. He starts to brag about it and act like the cocky douche he is until Dora reminds him that we ALL helped. Except for me. I was hitting the water bong harder than an Eskimo's nipple. Next up was the Giggling River. (Not to be confused with the Laughing Lake of three episodes ago.)
The Giggling River won't let our heroes pass unless they help fix his bridge. There's three pieces on the grass, and we have to pick which piece fits. It's the round one (I still contest they could have made the square piece fit without disrupting the integrity of the bridge). Dora and Boots celebrate and we're finally on our way to Chocolate Mountain.

Swiper isn't hard to find because he left a trail of crumbs (I'm sorry – at this point I have to stop. A TRAIL OF CRUMBS? Honestly…I'm just about done with this show) which lead to his hiding spot behind a rock. Everyone yells, "Swiper, no swiping!" to which Swiper delivers his cult-like, mindless response of, "Oh man!" Even with the cookies Swipers supposedly ate, and the evidence of the crumbs, there are still just as many cookies on the plate as there were in the beginning of the episode. (I rewound just to be sure – look at 1:35 for the best shot.) We celebrate with the "We Did It" song and the credits roll.

Tomorrow morning's episode is a repeat, so there won't be a recap. But if Nick Jr. continues to air these tired new Dora episodes, it won't be long till I officially jump ship to the Wonder Pets.