Once, many moons ago while searching CollegeHumor I stumbled upon a "Mother Clucker". I was smitten. This Mother Clucker was a hamburger patty, cooked half way though, wrapped in a chicken skin, stuffed with 4 cheese of ones liking, battered and deep fried.
This had to be done. This had to be OUTdone.
After making 3 one pound patties out of pure ground tenderloin we blended with onions and grilled. Upon grilling we cleaned our chicken skin, and wrapped the still raw patties. 4 cheese blend? Why yes, muenster, colby, pepperjack, and mozzerella! The the secret batering technique.
The mother clucker (around the size of a tucked midget) was to be consumed. First our blood pressures needed to be recorded..
Now what toppings will cause the most damage on our body? I chose straight butter and mayo with bacon that sat in its own filth..
BLOOD PRESSURE RESULTS
Participant A: 151/88 Participant B: 129/81 Participant C: 131/82
Participant A: 125/109 Participant B: 114/86 Participant C: 127/86
The Mother Clucker was great. It satisfied and stimulated tastebuds I never knew I had. My dipping sauce of choice was the buttermilk ranch. However I did indulge in a vast amount of Louisiana Sauce. So what was the defining moment when I knew I did a number on my insides? I had nightmares Nightmares of grease-induced death, twins in a hallway asking me to come play, and Gary Coleman threatening me with a rubber hose. Bowel Movements go well as the lard linin just kinda lets everything fall out. (Imagine filling a soft pool with pudding and breaking a side).
So would I do it again? You bet Britney Spears' blow knowledge I would. However, the next task will be the "Infamous Sliding Mother Clucker". Made bitesize..