My guest for this week's A Winner Is You! is CollegeHumor's own Patrick Cassels. Some of Patrick's most popular articles have been about Mario and getting NES games to work.
TALKING POINT: After 20 years, Capcom has finally decided the world is ready for a new Bionic Commando. Is it too soon?
Patrick: Absolutely. Considering the Nazi overtones of the original, this could potentially resurface some sore spots.
Patrick: The new trailer was massively impressive. Watching the commando swing from his retractable arm in three dimensions made me wonder why I never questioned his tendency to only swing side-to-side in the original. Bionic Commando is that rare piece of entertainment that may actually benefit from a re-do. I'm looking at you, Tetrisphere.
Jeff: I love a good video-game-grappling-hook. My favorites are the webs in Spider-Man 2, the swingshot in Ratchet & Clank, and the giant living booger in Earthworm Jim 2. If a new Bionic Commando can't make this list, they've failed.
Patrick: Sorry Mario, springs are so last decade.
Jeff: Obviously I'll still be able to swing, but the question is will I still be able to poke bad guys with my robo-arm until they fall off a cliff.
Patrick: Or extend it in and out in rhythm to the game's amazing soundtrack. How awesome was it to hear that theme in it's updated incarnation in the preview?
Jeff: I went back and played the original after seeing the trailer, and I still can't figure out that stage selection screen. When I play a game called Bionic Commando, I don't want to see any numbers.
Patrick: Unless it's "Bionic Commando 2," that is.
TALKING POINT: The Xbox 360 has been plagued by hardware problems, with failure rates being estimated at about 1 in 3. Is it crazy to purchase an Xbox 360?
Patrick: Of course it is. Buy three. At least one of them is bound to work!
Jeff: 1 in 3 is the official estimate, though a casual survey of my video game playing friends reveals the number is closer to "like every single one." It's probably for the best that Microsoft doesn't make airplanes.
Patrick: I tried to download instructions for fixing my 360 onto my Zune and the screen blew up. The issue is that, with systems topping out at over 500 dollars, customers with faulty systems can no longer be satisfied with a "cleaning kit" and a free subscription to Nintendo Power.