Jason and Kimberly are at home, preparing for bed. Kimberly is in seductive pink lingerie, Jason in a pair of red boxers. Both are wearing their helmets.
Jason: You ready, sweetie?
Kimberly: Am I ever!
(Together): IT’S MORPHIN TIME!
Jason: Damn it!
Jason: I just don’t understand it…
Kimberly: What happened to the Megazord I once knew?
Jason: I’m trying, ok? Honestly, I don’t even need a T-Rex anymore… just a velociraptor maybe, just for a few minutes…
Kimberly: Listen, this happens to people… there’s good medication to treat this… talk to Zordon, I hear he has some sweet power crystals
or Rita Repulsa, she just tosses that staff of hers and makes her monsters 1000 times bigger
Jason: Are you kidding me? I don’t need anything… I’m a Power Ranger… I’m sworn to protect the galaxy from the forces of evil! I’m a black belt!
Kimberly: Yeah, yeah, and Keanu Reeves “knows” Kung-Fu… That’s the problem with you Jason, always living in the past! While you sit here refusing to get treatment, I have to rely on Alpha for sexual pleasure!
Jason & Kimberly: SHUT THE F*CK UP!
Kimberly: Listen, we need to talk… you’ve left me no choice about what to do with life… I’ve been seeing another man.
Jason: WHAT?! (disturbed by sudden knock at front door)
Kimberly: Oh no, not right now…
(Jason goes to door, opens it to find Zack, in full uniform)
Zack: I’m here for the gangbang.
Jason: Are you serious, Kimberly? I was the leader of the Rangers! I’m the one who brought us all together!
Kimberly: I know sweetie, but… once you go black, you…
Jason: DON’T EVEN SAY IT! Screw this, I hope you guys enjoy yourselves, I’m gonna go get hammered. (Exits with door slam) Goddamn affirmative action
Zack: Well then, let’s get this party started, baby…
Kimberly: Hold on, let me close the shades first. (Quickly shuts the shades)
Rita Repulsa: (Looking through telescope from moon base) Are you serious? Just as this sh*t was getting hot…