I was watching Ice Road Truckers a few weeks ago and I have concluded I want to be a trucker. I don't plan on trucking for any longer than a year, but then again, I don't want to make any promises. Trucking is like the saying, "once you go black, you never go back." It's a way of life and once you're in- you're in. Luckily, I know a ton about rigs because I watch Trick My Truck on CMT and pass a lot of trucks on the highway. Sometimes I move my arm up to and down when I see a truck which causes my fellow trucker to beep his horn as a sign of respect. So even though I already have the respect from my fellow truckers, I want to experience a couple of their perks.

-Hot Hookers
Everyone knows truckers get the hottest and craziest hookers this country has seen since Martha Washington and all of Thomas Jefferson's illegitimate slave wives.

-Big Penis
Some people buy fast or expensive cars to compensate for small genitalia, but it's a known fact truckers are have the largest extremities, therefore they drive the biggest vehicles sanctioned by the highway and safety administration.

-The Community
Truckers are always looking out for each other. If you ever pass a trucker, you'll most likely notice how they always stare down and look at your little peering head. The reason they do this is not to satisfy curiosity but to make sure everything is OK down below. If they care enough to check on that SUV driving MILF or a young couple engaging in road head, then just think about how much they care about their peers.

-Truck Stops
The average American has never stopped at a truck stop. The average trucker has made love, ate a meal, got into a fight, went streaking, got drunk, got high, had more sex, passed out, and motor boated a floozy in one visit to a truck stop.

Truckers can listen to Jerry Reed's, "East Bound and Down"