Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
CH Sports Weekly: Now Playing in London!
Amir and Ethan
October 25, 2007
Another week, another World Series. In honor of the looming
season, we're skipping and interesting fact this week in lieu of peppering the column with our favorite anecdotes about J.R. Rider. So keep on the look out for those. First, though, let's talk World Series. I thought the Rockies were unbeatable. What happened?
Turns out Josh Beckett is unbeatable. The real question will be Game 2 tonight. If the Rockies can't take a split in Boston, they're pretty much done. My favorite part of the box score were the Rockies'
's. Francis had a 13.50, Morales topped that with a nice 94.50, and not to be outdone, Speier tossed a mathematically tricky N/A. What's next?
Sure, Speier didn't record an out while giving up three walks, but none of those turned into earned runs. Now that's quality pitching! At least for the Rockies.
Jeff Francis was awful, just brutal through the first three innings, but he only gave up four runs in those innings.
Why is Jeff Francis a starting pitcher? He could be making millions more by playing the lovable, nerdy friend who never gets the girl in bad teen dramas.The Rockies were still in until he gave up two more in the fourth. It's only one game, though, and they can still win the series. The same way J.R. Rider came back after spending the night in jail for throwing a milkshake through a drive-in window.
! What about Josh Beckett? Is it too unreasonable to ask him to pitch four games in a row? I mean, he will have a whole winter to rest his shoulder. How much longer until he starts for the Yankees?
I liked that they still had him pitch seven innings in a game they were winning 13-1 after the fifth. His pitch count wasn't too high, but it was Francona admitting, "Umm I'm really only comfortable handing our middle relievers leads of 15 or more. Back out there, Beckett."
He's learning from Belichick. They should have brought Matt Cassell in to pitch. He would have given up seven runs before Francona tried to bring Beckett back in.
If Boston hires a hypnotist to trick Beckett into thinking the regular season is all October next year, Beckett will go 35-0 with an
of like 1.00. It's amazing. Do you see the Rockies coming back? I feel like Jimenez could maybe stifle the Sox tonight, and that Game 4's Lester-Cook matchup is really anyone's game to win. What about you?
I really think the Rockies have to win the next four. Boston is not going to be losing game 6 or 7 at Fenway. Maybe if Manny drives like he plays baseball he'll miss the flight to Colorado.
They just won 21 out of 22; four out of four is nothing. Let's move on to college football. Have a favorite upset from this weekend?
Well, nobody is going to be more upset than Atlanta Thrashers coach Curt Fraser was when J.R. Rider repeatedly parked at his parking spot But is
over Oregon an upset? Is Cal over
an upset? According to the
Oregon's going to beat
at home, so that's not one. Arizona State's schedule is amazing. You can almost hear the logic in making it: "Oooo we'll play a bunch of crappy teams to go undefeated and get everyone's hopes up then play Cal, at Oregon, at
, then our rivalry game." They're a good team, but it's not going to be easy for them to not drop a game in there somewhere. If they run the table, though, I think they're in the title game. Who's your current title game sleeper? I'm going Mizzou. Pretty favorable schedule, only loss was to Oklahoma, and if they both make the Big 12 championship, they can avenge that one. Either Mizzou or Duke. That's how confused I am by this season.
How great would it be if Michigan ran the table, and they made it into the Championship game. Only to lose to the At-Large winner Winona.
Hey, you know the Winona State Warriors play the most smash-mouth football in Minnesota, where, by the way, Isaiah Rider once altered a cell phone so the charges went to someone else's bill.
Who knew he was so smart
I thought South Carolina maybe had it in them to make a run, but Head Ball Coach couldn't even get them a TD? Fans throughout the Palmetto State are sighing a dejected "click clack" right now
At least they have Uh
How about that
action? Too bad about Ronnie Brown he could have taken the Dolphins to two wins this season.
I wish old running backs would get phone calls like old quarterbacks do. Ronnie Brown goes down and the next thing you know, Miami is contacting Garrison Hearst. Speaking of which, did you hear Drew Bledsoe turned down the Jags this week? That can't be good for morale.
Napoleon Kaufman still has a lot of tread on his tires. No wonder Jax wants someone new/old. Did you see Quinn Gray on Monday night? He looked terrified. He was just throwing to whoever he saw open. Offensive player, defensive player, an open patch of ground with no one within ten steps of it he really didn't have time to be picky. Should we go ahead and apologize to our British readers for sending them the Dolphins-Giants game?
That wasn't even a good game on paper. Maybe it's a Trojan Horse. They let us in, and Michael Strahan just begins tackling members of the Parliament spitting on them. Not unlike the way J.R. Rider was suspended for spitting on a heckler in Portland.
I think the Giants had to go to London; it was the
's way of saying, "No, we're not mocking your teeth. Look at Strahan, for Chrissakes." The Dolphins is another story entirely, though. What if they win this game? Cam Cameron's going to be flying them around the world each week, hoping to get them good and jet-lagged before every game. And Cleo Lemon's water bottle will be filled with Earl Gray.True or false: Rob Bironas' legs have a better offense than the Ravens.
If they could just figure out a way to put his legs onto Kyle Bollers arms or if they could shape them like an Omega, Steve McNair could use them. Either way that was a lot of fantasy points.
Okay, got one last Isaiah Rider fact for us?
When Rider was with the Hawks, he arrived late for a game in Detroit. So rather than serve a three game suspension, he marched straight into that GM's office and asked for an outright release. If he's gonna get suspended without pay for 3 games, he might as well retire!
Well, he was also once arrested for gambling in public once, so maybe he thought he'd support himself by shooting craps. "Hot dice! Baby needs a new 10-day contract!"
Until next week, get in line for season tickets for the new
team in Atlanta. These babies are going to sell out fast!
is a random jersey blog. Do check it out!
Straight Cash Homey
We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.