What are your plans for this Halloween?? Handing out candy to all the little neighborhood kiddies. I love seeing the toddler costumes, SO CUTE! (0 points) Taking a rousing trip to historic Salem, Massachusetts to learn about real witches (1 point) Horror moviefest, my room, be there, bring funyuns! (2 points) Go to a party, get wasted, then go smash pumpkins and fight those big inflatable Halloween decorations (3 points)
If you had to be killed by a movie monster, who would it be? Sulley from Monster's Inc (0 points) I suppose If I had to choose a fictitious character then Grendel from Beowulf would suffice (1 point) The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man (2 points) Sil from Species, even if I didn't have to be (3 points)
What's your favorite autumn activity? Wearing sweaters and baking pumpkin pie (0 points) Salting meats for the long winter ahead (1 point) Playing in leaf piles (2 points) Carving dicks into the Jack-o-lanterns around town (3 points)
What's your favorite scary movie? Escape to Witch Mountain (0 points) Sleepy Hollow (1 point) Friday the 13th parts 1-3 and 5-19 (2 points) Naked Lesbian Chainsaw Cheerleader Sluts from Hell 6 (unrated version) (3 points)
When you were little, if a house gave you fruit while trick-or-treating you would: Appreciate what they're trying to do but give it to my little brother incase it had poison or razor blades (0 points) Sprinkle with cinnamon and sugar before baking for 45 min to make a delicious baked apple treat (1 point) Thank them then throw it away (2 points) Egg the sh*t out of their house, their dog and the inside of their mailbox for an extra surprise the next afternoon (3 points)
Why do you enjoy dressing up? I love pretending to be my favorite movie characters for a day! (0 points) It tides me over between my summer and winter civil war re-enactment groups (1 points) It's funner than wearing the jeans and t-shirt I usually wear, and it gives me an opportunity to be creative (2 points) Girls get all hot and dress up like movie characters with their boobies hanging out and stuff. There's like a 65% chance I'll never score with Angelina Jolie for real, but on Halloween there's a 95% chance I'll score with a sorority girl that looks like Angelina Jolie in Tomb Raider (3 points)
How long have you been preparing for Halloween? Since fun size candy bars went on sale at Shoprite. Yay fun size! (0 points) I listen to the audio book of The Crucible two weeks prior to the holiday each year to get in the mood (1 point) I'll carve pumpkins this weekend and work on my costume (2 points) I'll know it's Halloween when that Snoopy with the Great Pumpkin is on TV, then I'll throw something together (3 points)
You scored: points
0 5 Points: Talk about unoriginal. You're going to spend way too much time this year making a costume of some lame, over-done character. Harry Potter? Are you serious? This is against my principles, but I'm going to give you some advice that is going to help salvage your idea. Pretend you haven't read the books and be dead Harry Potter. Take the idea you've been working on all week, add fake blood and maybe one of those arrow-through-the-head things and you've turned your lame costume hilarious. If you're a girl you'll pick a slutty looking movie heroine, probably Tomb raider.
6 10 Points: Be honest, are you a history professor? You're going to be some boring early-American hero like Paul Revere for Halloween. Your costume will be historically accurate right down to the last detail. No one else will know who you dressed up as. Be prepared for comments like "Neat, a pilgrim."
11 16 Points: Welcome to the world of topical Halloween costumes. Depending on your wit this could range anywhere from a recent internet phenomenon like Chris Crocker or Dramatic Chipmunk, to something clever like Facebook Application Zombie. There will be much more of the former walking around campus.
17 21 Points: Taping a toaster to your head doesn't mean you dressed up. The pledge working the door at the "No one admitted without a costume" basement frat gala might think it's awesome, but we all know you only dressed up to get drunk, cause trouble and sleep with the girl who got 0 6 points.