Bruce,
It is with a heavy heart that I write you this letter. Unfortunately, recent developments have come to light that have caused the Justice League to reach the consensus that your services are no longer needed.
There were actually several reasons that led the League to the decision to revoke your membership. Perhaps the most obvious fact that doesn’t really need to be said, is the fact that you don’t have any superpowers. You’re just a regular guy. No ability to fly, no x-ray vision, no super speed, nothing. You’re just some rich guy who watched his parents die and developed a personal vendetta against evil and an obsession with justice. Not Justice League material at all. You know, maybe if you had been in a lab accident or something, or came from a different planet, things would be different. But right now, you’re just some civilian with a cape and a riced out car and we can’t really have outsiders laming up my fortress of solitude.
But Bruce, rest assured that that was not the only reason for our decision. Actually, your lack of powers was something that we were able to overlook for so many years. It wasn’t that big a deal for us; especially since you were able to use your company to provide us all with those great gadgets that make our jobs easier. Like those utility belts you got us for Christmas last year, amazing. Now, I keep a spare set of keys in there, so I won’t lock myself out of my car anymore.
However, the other day, Flash was spending some time on a computer he bought at a police auction. He was in an Internet (pretty fantastic stuff) and discovered a ‘website’ called Amazon.com.I’ve got to tell you, Bruce, this thing is pretty sweet. We were able to order new grappling hooks and pepper spray for less than half the price you we’re charging us through Wayne Enterprises.
Now, I’m not accusing you of price-gouging, but the difference in price was a little suspect. Also, they said they could ship us all our gear OVERNIGHT! It’s amazing what this ‘interweb’ is capable of.No more waiting for you to ‘get around’ to swinging by your warehouse. They’re even giving us wholesale prices on all our uniforms. I can finally fill my whole closet with my costume like I’ve always wanted. That’s going to look so cool!
So Bruce, I hope that there are no hard feelings here. It was strictly a business decision to have to let you go. We have to stay ahead of the competition. It’s a crazy world out there, but I know that you will find something else. If you need a letter of recommendation for anything, everyone said that they would be more than happy to sign it. Except for Wonder Woman; I think she’s still bitter about the time you tried to rape her.
Anyways, there are a few of boxes full of your things in my garage at the Fortress of Solitude. So whenever you get a chance, by Monday, come by and pick them up. Before Monday (garbage day).
Good Luck Bruce.
Sincerely,
Superman,
Human Resources Director
Justice League of America
P.S.
Attached is last month’s electric bill. Your Batsignal