The other day I was sitting quietly at my desk when JL, one of our ad guys, came up and asked if I wanted free NYU dining hall food. "Sure," I said, "but how?"

"With this," he replied while handing me the ID of a student named Daniel Patch that he found on the sidewalk. JL had surmised that Daniel and I look similar enough that I could score free grub off it. Alas, I can afford to feed myself and I'd like to give Daniel back his ID.

So Daniel, if you're out there, come get your ID. When you get here I'd like to have a beer with you and talk about what life has been like these last few days without an ID. If you're Daniel Patch email me at ImDanielPatchDude@gmail.com and I'll give you directions to our secret office. BUT to prove you're Daniel Patch I need you to confirm your middle initial for me (which I have blacked out of the ID).

See you soon, Daniel!