Jesus: Hey Dad. Can we talk?
God: Yeah, what's up kid?
Jesus: So I was talking to some of my buddies a couple days ago and I told them that you were my dad and they all laughed at me. I was wondering if there was something you could do.
God: Oh…well I have a lot on my plate right now. Lot's of stuff to do. Work, work, work.
Jesus: I understand.
God: Blitz! BLITZ! Get rid of the ball!
Jesus: Huh?
God: Nothing. Never mind. If you're asking me to kill your friends. Consider it done.
Jesus: No, that didn't work last year and I doubt it will work now. I just want some people to believe that what I am telling them is the truth.
God: Honestly, what's the big deal? If they don't believe, who cares? More heaven for us, right? You got to protect the sidelines, you idiot!
Jesus: Dad, are you busy?
God: No, it's fine, I just got a couple of guys over to watch the game. What were you saying?
Jesus: I don't know, I guess to be completely honest, I would really like it if you would come down tonight so I could introduce you to some of my friends.
God: But it's Sunday. The day of rest…
Jesus: Dad, I really could use your help.
God: Alright, fine. I'll come down later tonight, happy?
Jesus: Sober?
God: Soberish.
Jesus: Forget it.
God: Hear me out. How about on Monday morning I write something in the clouds like, "Jesus is telling the truth!" in big, bold letters. 12,102 font across the beautiful, blue sky.
Jesus: No, absolutely not. Just forget I ever asked. Oh yeah, Mom wanted me to tell you that she's not speaking to you any more until you take away Joseph's blindness.
God: What a pussy. I bet he cried to her about it. Fine. Tell her that I'll take it away first thing tomorrow. Anyways, if you're really against the sky writings, then my vote is back to killing your friends.
Jesus: Dad are you even listening to me? I'm going to go…
God: Blatant pass interference! Alright, see ya kid.

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Previous Episodes:

Jesus: Joint Custody
Jesus: Daddy's Drunk Dial