Me: This is awesome, you guys are going to love this show.
Rainey: Cool.
Jeff: So, what’s it about?
Dave: Gayness.
(They laugh).
Me: Hahaha, very funny. No seriously it’s really awesome. It’s about this town in Texas where football is like, life and everyone’s really into it and stuff.
Rainey: What team is it? A & M?
Me: No, it’s a high school team. Dillon High School.
Jeff: Dude, who gives a shit about high school football.
Me: That’s what’s so crazy, everyone is totally psycho about it and they’re all like, emotionally into what happens. Here, this is what happened on the last episode.
Rainey: Nobody’s playing football.
Me: Huh?
Dave: I’m seeing some woman giving birth, that one kid punched the other kid. Who’s the guy in the wheelchair?
Me: That’s Jason Street, he was the star quarterback but now he’s–
Dave: Gay?
(Laughter).
Me: Yeah, yeah. No, he was the star QB, then he got injured and became–
Dave: Super gay?
(More laughter).
Me: God dammit!
Rainey: Who’s the kid who looks like someone backed over his face with a truck?
Me: That’s Landry. He’s friends with–
Jeff: Dude! Who’s that smokin’ hot chick with him?
Me: That’s Tyra. She–
Rainey: Dude, she is way too fucking hot to be with that cock.
Jeff: He looks like a pug.
Me: It’s not about what he looks like it’s about the fact that he’s actually–
Dave: Gay?
Me: GOD DAMMIT!
Rainey: Nobody’s playing football.
Me: What?
Rainey: We’ve been watching this show for five minutes and nobody’s done anything football related. I don’t think anyone’s even mentioned football.
Jeff: So far that kid who looks like he’s thirteen has moped around over that other chick who looks like she’s twelve, that old dude has sat in his driveway moping and that kid with the face like my grandma’s ass has followed around that fuckin’ hot chick like a little bitch while she shops. What the fuck does this show have to do with football?
Me: That comes later, when everyone–
Dave: Is gay?
Me: Fine! Fine! Whatever, I don’t care, forget it, let’s just watch something else.
Rainey: What’s this?
Me: It’s Ugly Betty.
Rainey: What’s it about?
Me: It’s about this girl Betty. She’s–
Dave: Gay?