Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
CH Sports Weekly: Overhyping the Texans/Raiders Game
Amir and Ethan
October 31, 2007
Welcome to a super-scary Halloween edition of CH Sports Weekly. What makes it scary? We're going to talk about Rockets rookie Luis Scola's face. Let's start with baseball, though. When are we going to get another good World Series? We haven't had one since 2003.
Red Sox fans have had two good World Series since then. Much like the
Finals it seems as though whichever team emerges from the tougher conference (or league) has a cakewalk through the finals. Weren't people suggesting an
playoffs last year without east vs. west, just the top 16 teams playing each other? Maybe baseball can do that.
Baseball can't do that because the leagues are separate historical entities with separate rules.
Separate but equal. We must abolish these "differences!"
Maybe I'm just sick of bandwagon Red Sox fans who "have always loved the Sox" but don't know who Troy O'Leary is. I think the real question about the Sox is why the team itself is so hard to hate. They've got that insane payroll, but with all the young talent and seemingly nice guys, you can't loathe anyone except for Schilling. Although I can't imagine why anyone would let Papelbon near a microphone, can you?
Jonathan Papelbon is like a robot somebody built to pitch well, but didn't have the time or wherewithal to make him talk or act like a human. They did get the Irish dancing program down though.
If anyone wants to do a stage production of Sling Blade that involves baseball, he's a lock for the lead. Another highlight for me was Bud Selig awkwardly presenting Mike Lowell the
trophy and the brand-new Chevy Malibu that came with it! Just what a guy who's about to cash in a huge free agent deal needs: an inexpensive mid-sized American car!
Finally, Lowell can ride in
Selig was more awkward that normal, like an uncle trying to explain a crappy Christmas gift "No, no, you take this card to the oil change place two towns over, and they give you 20% off." Who's winning this weekend: Arizona State or Oregon?
Oregon is the real deal, Arizona State is not.
is the worst fourth best team in college football history. My vote for best Pac-10 team is either
or any team that beat
Not including Stanford of course.
Arizona State just beat Cal! Cal beat Oregon! Ergo no, you're right. Oregon's going to win. Dennis Dixon will look like Vince Young, and not the shitty pro version, either. The old one that passed for more than 42 yards a game.
Hey remember when Kentucky was good at football? That was an awesome fortnight.
Like anyone else from Kentucky, I enjoyed our brief stay near the top, but it's time to get back to what we do best: barely beating Vandy, then losing to Tennessee. What do you think about the Saban Bowl this weekend? Does Bama have enough talent to drop
? I'm thinking not, but I think a QB name like "John Parker Wilson" is worth at least a touchdown a game, and DJ Hall defies the laws of gravity. Still,
has to take this one, right?
The game is in Tuscaloosa so anything is possible. Remember when Alabama was at home versus Western Carolina? The spread was 30 but Bama destroyed those (looking at Wikipedia) Catamounts by 46! Miracles can happen. Besides if
can lose to Kentucky they can lose to Alabama.
Will you please stop making fun of Kentucky? Jesus, I'm not mocking Cal's precipitous drop, am I, Berkeley boy? One more potential upset special this weekend:
over BC. It could happen.
Mathematically, yes. It could.
started last night; what's exciting you for this season?
I want to see if LeBron can finally win the big one after getting so much help this offseason. Cavs not only signed Devin Brown but they re-signed Sasha Pavlovic. No excuses this year,
! And of course, I want to see how overrated the Celtics are. Did you know their subs have to play too?
The Celtics are hilariously bad after their top three. Rondo can eventually be good, but he can't shoot. Sure, he won't need to score 20 a game, but championship teams have points who can at least hit a jumper. Honestly, the fourth best player on the team is probably James Posey. I don't think he was ever the fourth-best player on the team when he was with the Grizzlies. Maybe Danny Ainge thinks the
is switching to a three-on-three format this year. Hoop it up -style.
Wasn't James Posey already the fourth best player on an
championship team? Maybe he's the key .
You think he was the fourth-best player on that Heat team? Have you never heard of a little something called White Chocolate?
Wasn't he that dude who played high school basketball with Randy Moss?
Let's not add to the hype, but quickly: Colts or Pats?
I think the Pats will win but I'm really, really hoping the Colts pull out a victory. One, those Patriot players are just so smug with their effortless 40-point victories. Two, Boston fans need something to be annoyed about. Three, I want to see Tom Brady melt.
I've got no beef with Boston fans or the Pats' blowouts, but I want to see the Colts win, too. That said, the Pats will win by 20, and Belichick will punch Tony Dungy in the stomach for good measure. Got an interesting fact?
I just read an article written in 2002 about Kwame Brown in the Washington Post and it included this great anecdote:
"On a road trip to Boston, the Wizards took him to an elegant French restaurant. Brown was not just shocked, but outraged, to discover that the restaurant did not serve French dressing. "Can you believe that?" he says. "No French dressing. In a French restaurant. "For weeks afterward, Brown took a bottle of store-bought French dressing with him whenever he went out to dinner."
Hey, I wash down every meal with a cool glass of dressing, too, so I totally understand. Until next week, catch J.P. Los-mania!
is a random jersey blog. Check it out if you're feeling nostalgic about Dream Team 3.
Straight Cash Homey
We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.