The Weekly WYR

It's my favorite time of the week, it's time for the Weekly WYR. See if you're brave enough to choose a side in what surely are the universe's most difficult quagmires. And remember, if you've got a great WYR, submit it at the bottom of this or any WYR article.

Would You Rather…

  • Eat nothing but candy corn for the rest of your life, or have Patrick Duffy always following you? From Avery
  • Have gay sex once, or always fantasize about gay sex while having straight sex? From Marc
  • Have savant like math skills, or have a photographic memory? From Andrew
  • Have Roger Klotz read your journal, or miss the Beets concert for the second time? From Steve
  • Have perfect abs after one sit up, or be perfect at guitar after one lesson? From Matt
  • Have hangovers that feel like an orgasm, or have orgasms that feel like hangovers? From Derek
  • Be able to see every girl you ever had sex with naked whenever you wanted, or be able to have sex with just one of them again? From John
  • Piss drinkable Pepsi, or Poop edible Doritos? From Bill
  • Have Optimus Prime as a dad, or Jessica Biel as a Girlfriend? From Christopher
  • Get a CREED tattoo on your forehead, or a swastika? From Dan
  • Be Jenna Jameson's father, or Jenna Jameson's son? From Ryan
  • Satisfy your girl every time but yourself only half the time, or satisfy your girl only half the time but yourself every time? From Matt
  • Be in a band you hate, or never be able to listen to your favorite type of music? From Aaron
  • Have a real working light saber, or find a cure for Cancer? From Frank

Finally, this week's winner of the Hey, man… Shut up Award is Matt, who sent in this.

  • Write for or be funny? From Matt

Thanks for ruining my day, bro.

If you have a good WYR, submit it below. Check back every Friday to see if yours made the cut.

  • First Name:
  • Last Name:
  • Would You Rather…