You always get to class: When you feel like it (0 points) A couple minutes late then lay low in the back (1 point) On time (2 points) Five minutes early and sit in the front row (3 points)
During a lecture you: Draw pictures of your professor getting stabbed with captions like "STAB! STAB! STAB!" (0 points) Try to speed up time using the power of your mind (1 point) Take notes occasionally (2 points) Listen intently and ask questions EVERY. FIVE. SECONDS. Jesus! The professor is going to answer your question anyway if you just let him finish. God, SHUT UP! (3 points)
When given reading assignments you: Consider buying the book then laugh to yourself (0 points) Open your textbook and leave it on the table while you watch TV (1 point) Skim the chapter incase there is a pop quiz (2 points) Read several chapters ahead so that you can be a douche bag know-it-all during class the next day (3 points)
If a class is held in a computer lab you: Sit on aim, play flash games and update your Facebook profile (0 points) Read all of the day's odd news stories (1 point) Use the internet as a valuable resource to supplement the lesson (2 points) Whine about every little thing that you think is broken when really the problem is that you have no idea how to use a computer. There's nothing wrong with the screen; the computer is off. You're a joke. (3 points)
You expect to graduate in just: 5 years (0 points) 4 years (1 point) 3 years(2 points) 9 years (3 points)
If you hear something in a lecture that you find particularly interesting you: Pay attention briefly (0 points) Stick around until the end of class (1 points) Research it further on your own time (2 points) Relate it to a life experience you had in long, irrelevant, dull, stupid story (3 points)
When you do poorly on a paper or test you: Proudly stick it to your fridge with a magnet (0 points) Are indifferent (1 point) Resolve to study harder the next time (2 points) Spend the entire next class interrupting the professor and trying to bend his own words to justify why you got the answers wrong. You use the phrase "but I thought" a lot (3 points)
You live with: Your roommate (0 points) Your girlfriend/boyfriend (1 point) Your parents (2 points) Your family (3 points)
You scored: points
0 8 Points: You're a normal 18 to 23-year-old college student. Huzzah! How sweet is being young? I know, it's awesome! You don't need to take 10 different pills a day to stay alive, and never even bore everyone around you complaining about your arthritis. Keep enjoying all the young people things you do now like snowboarding, falling without breaking your hip, and understanding technology. Someday you won't have the luxury.
9 16 Points: You're probably not over the age of 30, but you care more about your GPA than you should. You have the rest of your life to learn and read books; you only go to college once.
17 24 Points: Oh my god, I hate you. You're a non-traditional student. All you do is waste everyone's time being flabbergasted by simple concepts and telling your lame anecdotes. There can't possibly be a story about your kids that has anything to do with Trigonometry, but that never, ever stops you. Go try and improve your life somewhere else, oldie.