Amir: No, but they should. 1 win in 2003, 3 in 2004, 2 in 2005/6 and now they have 8 in their last 10, including a win over Ohio State? It's amazing, they're actually fighting.
Ethan: That game was great to watch because the outcome never really felt in doubt; Illinois beat the crap out of Ohio State and made Todd Boeckman look like Peyton Manning. In a bad Sunday-night-against-the-Chargers kind of way. Ron Zook must have stayed up all night texting recruits, "Did U C that big win?"
Amir: "I M Super Bored. Wanna Hang? Sup. nintendo?"
Ethan: Also, I'm thinking of naming my first son "Juice" after that game. The only career options with a name like that are great college QB and murder-for-hire. Either way, the kid would have a future. Surprised that Michigan lost to Wisconsin?
Amir: Why would that surprise me? Michigan is not a good football team. They say you should lose your games early rather than late. Michigan is testing this theory out by doing both.
Ethan: Are you kidding? They're not a bad football team. Lloyd Carr is rolling in his grave that you would even say that. They just rattled off an eight-game win streak, which is tough to do even against a fairly easy schedule. Obviously their running game is hurting right now, but Mario Manningham is now number three on the list of All-Time Best Marios. He's behind the Nintendo one and Lemieux, but ahead of Lopez, Batali, and Puzo. I'll even pick them against OSU this weekend.
Amir: Pick them to cover the spread? Because I'll take Ohio State -3.5 against a Michigan team without their starting quarterback or tailback.
Ethan: This could be Lloyd Carr's last game, and the players will want to win one for the exact opposite of the recently exhumed Gipper. Plus, it's in the Big House and NOBODY beats Michigan at home. Except for Appalachian State and Oregon. Let's talk about a good conference, though. Georgia gave Auburn a pretty good thrashing on Saturday; think they can take Kentucky this week?
Amir: Haha, "Take Kentucky." You say that as if Georgia can only beat Auburn, Florida, and Alabama. But you are still unsure if they can beat Kentucky. Yeah I think they can "take them." They are the best two-loss team in college football. But who is the best one loss team?
Ethan: Look, if Kentucky basketball can get routed Gardner-Webb at home (we'll come back to that), Kentucky football can beat Georgia on the road. If we're going to live in a bizarro world, I want for it to at least be consistent. Best one-loss team is Oregon. Or LSU. Or Maybe Mizzou. Or Oklahoma. And WVU looked good against Louisville last week. Hmmm I'll stick with Oregon. You think the current BCS title picture will hold?
Amir: You would think the winner of Oklahoma/Kansas would have to move up in the BCS wouldn't you? Oregon has no big games left against ranked opponents so I'd imagine they would drop if Kansas went undefeated. Which is pretty sad because they lost their game by about a foot. Oh well, there's always next year!
Ethan: Oregon can get a good boost if Michigan beats Ohio State, though. In any event, let's remember what's important: that College GameDay can go to any game they damn well pick. This weekend it's going to be a Pop Warner game somewhere in Indiana. Lee Corso's having trouble finding a hat to express his feelings that the Rockets will beat the Dinosaurs. It's strange how the Patriots didn't even play this weekend, yet they still managed to look even better than the Colts, isn't it?
Amir: Injuries are starting to take a toll. They could only suit up 17 offensive players against the Chargers, and lost a couple more during the game. They were down 23-0 and were still one Vinatieri chippy away from beating San Diego on the road. I just hope they get healthy before the AFC Championship game. Is it too early to rest your starters?
Ethan: I've been resting mine in our fantasy league for weeks. I want them fresh for the playoffs. Antonio Cromartie must be appearing in all of Peyton's nightmares now, or at least the ones that don't involve him waking up as Eli. Colts are still a lock for the second seed, right? Or could the Steelers sneak in there and take it?
Amir: With these injuries wow, hold on a second. I just took a look at their upcoming schedule. It's almost as if the NFL thought flex scheduling meant letting Dungy choose his last seven games: Chiefs, Falcons, Ravens, Raiders, AND Texans. I can hear Jim Sorgi throwing to get loose from here.
Ethan:I hope we see some Jim Sorgi just so we'll know if he's better than a lot of NFL starting QBs. After watching Alex Smith's debacle on Monday Night against a Seahawks D that isn't exactly a steel curtain, who do you think the NFL's worst starting QB is?
Amir: Alex Smith. You know how good quarterbacks make players around him better? Well Alex Smith is so bad he actually makes players around him worse. Frank Gore used to be good. So did Darrell Jackson and Vernon Davis. He's averaging 130 yards per game and has only two touchdowns this year. That's 2700 yards and 31 touchdowns worse than Tom Brady.
Ethan: The offensive line is terrible, though, and that's why he keeps getting killed and why Gore's struggling. He's pretty bad, though; that was his thirtieth start and he looked like a terrified rookie backup who was just hoping nobody noticed he'd peed himself. Too bad Steve McNair got injured, or he'd win this contest going away. He can't throw downfield, and he's 11 turnovers against two TD's.
Amir: He took Baltimore from a Super Bowl contender to worst team in the NFL in less than a year. That's gotta count as something.
Ethan: I know he won on Sunday night, but Phil Rivers is pretty atrocious. He's not afraid to throw to anyone or anything, be it offensive player, defensive player, or patch of empty turf with no one within ten steps of it. He can make all the bad throws and fumble with the best of them. Now, to college hoops! Remember when you called Gardner-Webb overrated last week?
Amir: Okay so they beat Kentucky, but everybody had them as a pre-season top five team so they're going to have to do a little bit more than that.
Ethan:Look, I keep telling you, those were the Atlantic Sun Conference projected standings, not the national rankings. Although fellow Atlantic Sun team Mercer beat USC on Saturday, so maybe they're the top conference in the country. Mercer's got a real test coming against Harvard on Friday, though. Also watch out for Kennesaw State, and South Carolina Upstate's my bracket buster. Does Carolina win it all this year?
Amir: I like Memphis. They have great players returning (Chris Douglas-Roberts) and what many people think is the best Freshman in America (Derrick Rose) and last I checked they haven't lost a game yet. So far so good!
Ethan: Keep driving that bandwagon. Speaking of bandwagons, is anyone still on the Rockies'? Because Troy Tulowitzki got robbed in the Rookie of the Year voting. Defense must not matter; I'm pretty sure by the end of the year Ryan Braun was just taking off his glove and throwing it at groundballs. At least C.C. Sabathia got the AL Cy Young he deserved. Now, for a celebratory gross of donuts!
Amir: Make mine a baker's gross.
Ethan: Deal. Got an interesting fact this week?
Amir: This ones from the wacky world of Stephon Marbury. You know when he's not leaving his team in the middle of a road trip, he's actually averaging more assists/game in his career (7.86) than Steve Nash and Andre Miller (7.56).
Ethan: It's because he whispers, "Are you going to get in the basket?" to the ball before he passes it.
Amir: That ball totally wanted it.
Ethan: Until next week, get excited for Ricky Williams' reinstatement. I smell Dolphins' victory!
Amir: That's just tuna.