Saigon, April 30th, 1975

America quietly boards a helicopter. A surprised North Vietnam emerges from the jungle.

Vietnam: Hey…hey, are you guys leaving?

USA: Yup, this is taking forever, you know. We'll just call it a tie and be on our way.

Vietnam: Tie?! No offense, but you guys are retreating, right? That means we won the war, no?

USA: War? A number 1, this was a 'conflict' not a war. A number 2, it's a tie because we're both obviously evenly matched.

Vietnam: Come on, that's bullsh*t and you know it. You guys lost and now you're leaving and trying to pretend like you never were even fighting in the first place.

USA: This was, like, soooo not a big deal to us. You guys killed a few of us, we killed a few of you, it's a tie. I don't know why you're making such a scene.

Vietnam: We're not making a scene! You just won't admit to losing, like, ever!

USA: I think we're agreeing with each other but we're both being a little too loud to realize it. We're calling it a tie, you're calling it a draw. It's essentially the same thing. Anywho, gotta get going soon because we have a long helicopter ride back and…

Vietnam: No, no, no. We are not agreeing with you.

USA: Maybe if we calm down a little bit we'll see that we're on the same side, ok?

Vietnam: We are calm, you know why? Because we WON!

USA (Laughing): OK, whatever you say there, Vietnam.

Vietnam: You did this same kind of thing in Korea! This whole 'no winners, no losers' bullsh*t!

USA: Did we? Weird, I didn't see that in our history books. Hmm, I guess it didn't happen.

Vietnam: Why did you even come here in the first place?!

USA: Oil, maybe? Russia?…Yeah, the USSR or something. To be honest, it doesn't really matter. This has been fun, though. Peace in the middle east.

Vietnam: Really?

USA: Not for long…