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Refrigerate after opening to keep jokes fresh

Sneeze Replies More Zealous Than "God Bless You"
- Jehovah bless you.
- May Allah absolve your nasal passages of all foreign intruders.
- Gesundheit… oh great and powerful Gezundheit! Purify thine sinuses with your mighty hammer!!!
Racist Who Just Doesn't Get It
What's the deal with Black Friday? Didn't we already give them a whole month?
Guy Who Thinks October is Shopper Appreciation Month
What's the deal with Black Friday? Didn't we already give them a whole month?
Moregasm (n. – more-gaz-im) – The euphoric bliss that comes with discovering that there are more of a given food item previously thought to be all eaten. Example: "I had a moregasm when I found out there were more crescent rolls."
My friend shared bad news with me over AIM recently, using emoticons – I thought that was really immature. She used a miscarriagey face.
Benjamin Franklin After Getting Dumped
In this world nothing is certain but death, taxes, and women are bitches.
One man's junk is another man's penis.