-This week, we start off in the chicken coop with everyone’s favorite Bonanza resident, Taylor. She’s talking about how she loves certain chickens more than others. There’s a cock joke here, but really, I mean, I think most of the chickens are hens. And besides, it’s just too easy.


-Taylor and I share the same philosophies, it seems. She only likes cute things and hates the ugly ones. Granted, I’m talking about women and she’s talking about chickens. But it’s sort of the same thing, right?-However, I don’t know if I agree that all the uglies should be killed like she says…I mean who would I hook-up with? Plus, there’d be no BBW porn.


-Sophia mentions to Greg that she’d like to cook a whole chicken dinner for the town, and Greg says they need to kill like 10 chickens to feed everyone. Apparently, this is the alternative plan to skewering Guylan.


-Taylor is annoyed with Greg because according to her “he acts like the President of the world.”


Wait for it…wait for it…


OH NO THIS BITCH DIDN’T. You’re telling me that the girl who ran around telling people to “deal with it” for a month straight is going to call someone else out on acting all high and mighty? Please. That’d be like Jared calling someone out on being totally awesome.


-Kelsey, the token Asian girl, is kind of getting riled up about killing a bunch of chickens. Think she would have acted differently if they were dogs? Ha, racism and preconceived stereotypes.


-The girls (not surprisingly: Emilie) freak out and try and stop the boys from getting the chickens out of the coop. In fact, it gets a little bit like the Rodney King riots for a little bit with the girls grabbing on to Blaine and Greg.If the two boys were smart, they would have just distracted Emilie with a pie. Fat ass.


-According to Sophia, the fight isn’t about killing the chickens but more because Taylor and her group have made friends with them. So really, the kids are killing Taylor’s friends. Couldn’t they maybe pick some other ones? Like, um, Emilie?


Anyway, they end up letting the girls choose the chickens to kill.


-Cut to Anjay once again being cut down (this time intellectually!) by Alex. Alex knows more numbers to Pi then Anjay. Not surprising, given his nationality. Other things Alex is probably good at: Piano, Violin, and using number 2 pencils…not the mechanical kind.I’d like to thank my high school friend Andrew for those observations. Emilie joined the discussion of Pi was disappointed when she found out she couldn’t eat it. Apparently, you can’t shove a TI-83 down your gullet…but I’m sure she’d try.


-I totally made that last part up, but you had to think for a minute didn’t you?


-The journal tells The Council that they should establish some type of school/education in Bonanza.


-Colton came to Bonanza to “get away from school.”I think what he meant to say was “I came here so my parents could exploit me…and so I could get some type of weird lip rash.”


-Jared says that education is the root of civilization and if someone isn’t educated they could “end up flipping burgers at the supermarket.” And that person would be especially stupid because they would have showed up at the completely wrong location for their job.


-This is different for a lot of these kids, instead of going to home school…they now go to bunk school.


-Sophia had an intense study session with the Green district acting out the situations in the book because she learned in school that that helps you remember and learn things better. This is different then what I was taught. I was told that you learned by actually attending school and not sitting in the desert for 40 days.


-This week’s challenge: A pop quiz! Only it involves balloons and slingshots. See, three possible answers come up written on balloons, and the teams must shoot and pop the two wrong ones. The first to three correct answers wins. Also, the kids will have to put all the leftover ammo in a jar and if it fills the jar they get a reward.


-Hunter is cleaning up for the green team. But I mean, if your name is Hunter you should be awesome at shooting things.


-Upper Class – Green, Merchants – Blue, Cooks – Yellow, Laborers – Red


-They get the reward.


-Side note: That was an outrageously boring challenge. It took like 20 minutes and Jared didn’t do anything awesome.


-Reward choices: A library or a fucking sweet video arcade. I would say this is an obvious choice, but 7 copies of the Koran in Bonanza City would tell me otherwise.


-They choose the arcade but since Taylor hasn’t been doing her work (AGAIN!!!) she doesn’t get to use it.


-It pains me to say this, but Jared is kind of being a douche bag. He and Mike quit doing work to go play in the arcade with the upper class.


-Holy crap! Taylor did ALL the dishes and because of that, Greg allowed her in the arcade and actually brought her into it like at the end of An Officer and A Gentleman. I’m serious, he picked her up and carried her in. Does Bonanza City have pedophilia laws yet? I smell a message from The Journal!


-Sophia gets mad at Blaine when he’s gambling on a game in the arcade instead of being responsible. Something tells me this won’t be the last time he’s a part of a conversation that plays out like that.


-At the town meeting, The Council decides to padlock the arcade because it’s preventing everyone from getting all their work done. From now on, the arcade will only be available once people have washed all the dishes, etc etc. They elect Sophia the town sheriff on such matters. That won’t suck. She doesn’t have a chip on her shoulder or anything.


-This week, Hunter finally gets his gold star and gets to call his parents on the “only phone in Bonanza City.” I feel like this is the perfect setup for one of those “It’s The Network” Verizon commercials.


-We end with what should be everyone’s part of the episode. Jared sneaks into the arcade before it’s locked and whoops ass on some DDR. He then enters his name as “Danceman.” Danceman, indeed. Rock the fuck on, my man.


There are only two episodes left…I’m getting kind of emotional.


Until next week…


Love,


Kid Nation Man


P.S. Sorry to all the races and chubby girls named Emilie I offended this week.



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