What do you mean you won't let me in? Are you being serious? Is this a joke? Where's the hidden camera? Of course I'm 21, why else would I try to get into this bar showing my real I.D.?

Well no, I don't think YOU understand. 9 months until I'm 21 and I can come back? I don't think we're on the same page here, brother. It's okay, I had a black friend in high school. Do you really think I'd try and pull a fast one on you? I know you look like half a retard but I'm pretty sure you can do your job.

The thing is I was in the womb for 9 months, so technically, I am 21. And I don't think even you could argue with this reasoning. Are you pro-life or pro-choice? So you're for abortions? Against? Ok, then you're pro-life, not pro-choice, you had them mixed up I think.

So then you agree that even when I was an embryo in the womb I had my little heart beating, so technically I was alive. See what I'm doing here? I'm changing your mind. I can see you're slowly understanding what I'm talking about. We're on the same page.

So if you'll just move out of the way I can walk into this bar and start "hollerin' at some biddies” if you catch my drift. So move. Have your fat melon head tell your fat pear-shaped body to shuffle or waddle to the side. No?

Please, c'mon my girlfriend's in there. She's not even 20 and you let her in. You let in a 19-year-old. I could have you arrested for that. Just kidding. But I might if you don't let me in.

20 bucks? Cool.