I am still stuffed with turkey and ALWAYS stuffed with gossip. Let me put a little on your plate, my dear friends. Even though it's a week after the holiday, I am still thankful for you and all your wonderful, sassy comments. So here's some stuff to talk about (or rip to shreds):

Katie Holmes apparently decided that she didn't want Tom to be the only freak in the family, and got a new haircut to even out the weirdness. Too bad she debuted it at the Bambi Awards, where her hubby took home a prize! That justttttttt barely beats the 'do on the freak scale – this time! [WWTDD]

Another freak – of the sexual persuasion – has been busy lying up a storm to get more famous! Kim Kardashian allegedly made up a story that she'd been robbed of $50,000 worth of jewels and electronics at JFK airport. But no police report was every filed and the cops think it's a hoax. Also a hoax: Kim's giant ass. That thing ain't real, peeps – the joke is on us! [IDLYITW]

Jennifer Love Hewitt got engaged! Then she went on vacation. Then she hopped in the ocean and flashed her ass for the world to see. It looked like this:

Now say what you will about it's size and….texture (and I know you will), but be honest – your ass doesn't look that good. Seriously. I know I'm right. [WWTDD]

Lindsay Lohan has started drinking again! Party! We knew rehab couldn't stop the fun. Now she's just gotta include her nose in on the action and it'll be just like old times. [Hollywood Tuna]

Victoria "Posh" Beckham supposedly got her melon implants taken out of her chest, which is great and all, but it doesn't help the fact that her face still likes like it was made on Mars. [Egotastic]

Oh brother! Hulk Hogan and his wife Linda are getting a divorce – though the whole thing may be a fake out to protect their money from an upcoming civil suit. You know, brought on by the parents of the comatose kid their son almost killed in a car accident. How classy, Hogans! I expected more from people who wear outfits like these:


Christina Aguilera: Pregnant, Sexy and Always Dirrrty. Her future son is gonna feel really conflicted about these pics. [Egotastic]

And I've saved the trash for last! BRITNEY is:
1. Maybe pregnant.
2. A big fan of dildos, lube, and kinky outfits.
3. Needing police escorts to get a cup of coffee.
3. Sexin' herself up like this:

[IDLYITW, CelebSlam, DListed]

Thankful for millionaires who wear pajamas from Target,