If this episode revolves around Taylor not doing work again, I’m going to be fucking mad.
After 30 something days in Bonanza, clearly, Sophia has gone insane. To prove some ridiculous point about how she’s better than the rest of the kids, Sophia ropes off a portion in the middle of town as “her land.” To walk across it, the kids had to pay her 5 cents. Just like Connecticut, the kids decide that Sophia’s plot of land doesn’t matter.
Every time Blaine reads the journal it reminds me of the “t-t-today Junior!” scene in Billy Madison.
This week, The Journal encourages the kids to go exploring a find a culture that is not there own. You know, so that they could learn something. Here’s a suggestion: Maybe go to a real city? With running water and super markets? Just an idea.
The Journal even provided a map. By the looks of it, the kids had to go over the frozen people before they could really get to where they needed to be. Where's Greg's Mets hat? (Got it right this time, guys.)
This is just a terrible idea. The Council decides that they should all leave and follow the map, leaving Sheriff Sophia as the only one in charge. Sophia decides how long the kids work, Sophia decides when the arcade opens, and, if The Council isn’t back in time, Sophia decides the reward after the challenge. Needless to say, all the kids find this completely fair. They’re not at all worried that she’ll be a dictator.
So while Sophia rounds up all the non believers in Bonanza, The Council ventures across treacherous terrain to find whoever they’re supposed to meet. Turns out, it’s a tribe of Native Americans! I have beef with this already…
1. Am I really supposed to believe that there’s a tribe of only like 10 people living alone in the wilderness? There are no tribes that have that many people in them. It looks like CBS rented the set from The Indian In The Cupboard and set it up in New Mexico for the day.
Whoa, whoa, whoa…Taylor is talking to Sophia and comments about how she hopes Greg gets lost on top of a mountain and eaten by a pack of coyotes because she believes Sophia is a better leader than Greg. Hey! Greg carried you into the arcade last week! It was like Kerri Strug at the '96 Olympics!
Jared comments that he doesn’t really know a lot about cow anatomy. Alex says that you just need to compare it to our anatomy because it’s so similar. I guess that makes sense. You know, Emilie is kind of a heffer. And we’re at one!
After stealing the head and the pelvis from the site, Jared exclaims “Pelvis has left the building!” Awesome!
And it’s time for the challenge! I’d like to note that Host Guy is wearing some ridiculous ass cowboy for some reason. Look people, if you’re above the age of 11 and you wear a cowboy hat you’re either an idiot or Don Imus.
This week’s challenge is as follows: The kids need to carry the four walls and the roof of a small house across like a football field and reassemble it. They then need to put some animals inside it and hoist a flag outside.
Alex comments that using “kid power” you can haul a lot of things. After my own research, I’ve learned that kid power can make a lot of things too. You know, like boxes and boxes Nike shoes.
Anyway, this challenge is completely unfair to the little kids. Without The Council around it takes them forever to move their house and they just barely get it done in time. It was a perfect example of why people always used to die during my Oregon Trail games. The little ones just aren’t good for anything.
Morning After Kid Nation Game! Who said this quote: “These walls are way bigger than I was, in height and in width.” Hint: It was definitely NOT Emilie. Two! (It was Mallory.)
The Council meets to have people suggest gold star winners. Jared nominates himself. A self promoter! A boy after my own heart.
It’s gonna be Alex. Shit. I can tell.
Alex’s Mom comments that “Our baby’s grown up.” No he hasn’t, only his one tooth has!