Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
December 10, 2007
While living with this freak who was constantly taking powdered protein and visiting the gym at least on a daily basis, I decided to integrate some hydrocil instant laxative powder into his giant tub of whey protein. While it took a while to kick in, the facts that he had the runs for 3 consecutive weeks while refusing to seek medical advice (even at my own suggestion) really made it all worth it.
My freshman year of college, my roommate ate all of my food, insisted on having the window open at night (even though it was winter and my bed was next to the window), and had his ugly-ass girlfriend sleep over
night. Add to this the fact that he was a total hick who decked out in cammo everyday and blared country music at 7am, and I had had enough. Near the end of first semester, when everybody was starting to register for classes, I noticed a post-it note above his desk. Turns out, he wrote down his student ID number and password the day before and forgot to throw it away. So, I signed into his student account, dropped all the classes he had registered for, and signed him up for fashion and dance classes (he is a construction management major.) He didn't find out until the first day of the next semester when the classes he wanted had already filled up. I moved out a few days later, and never found out how he fixed the situation. Serves you right you fat hick.
August, Colorado State
There was this one girl who'd been my roommate for two years on account of poor housing organization. During these two years I'd been dating one guy, but this longterm relationship ended when I found them Christmas morning, Mr and Mrs Claus outfits pointing a trail to the bathroom, where the shower couldn't quite drown out what was happening. I burst in with a fire extinguisher and my boyfriend pulled the sushi shower curtain down and leaped out the window with it. (It was the first floor). The roommate got a facefull of foam blast. For the rest of the semester, I dipped her towels in the toilet, leaped out and beat her with a broom every time she walked by the closet, scratched all her CDs, and cut a round hole in the crotch of all her pants and dresses, among other things. It was petty, I know, but you should see what I did to the guy.
Sophomore year one of my roommates was a complete slob. He smelled like crap, never cleaned anything, and left dirty dishes everywhere around the house. Some funky smell always came from his room. I finally had it when the smell started to come through the vent into my room. So one night when he went out, I upper decked his toilet (he had the master bedroom) and spent the next 3 nights at my girlfriend's. He didn't find out what the smell was for 4 days and then he moved out at the end of the month. It took us a month to get the smell out of his room and almost another month to find a new roommate, but picking up the extra rent was totally worth it.
Sean, Not Giving You My School
One of my buddies is real easy to mess with, so I've been testing out a bunch of pranks on him. My favorite one thus far goes like this: I created a screen name called ActionPizzaQU. Next I went on facebook and got all the screen names I could find from students who live on campus (I got about 600 together for this prank). Next I sent them all a message that read: "Hi you have won a free pizza through Action Pizza's Finals Week Facebook Give Away! Your name was randomly selected from the Quinnipiac data base to receive a free large cheese pizza! Just call (roommates number here) and be sure to tell all your friends to order from Action Pizza!". Over the course of two days he must have received at least a hundred calls, and he is convinced someone is out to get him.
S.Dot, Quinnipiac University
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