Episode #2.12 SEASON FINALE

You know that feeling you get right after something exciting is over and you have nothing left to keep you warm on winter nights but your stupid family? Well Monday morning will be more difficult than December 26, January 2, the start of fall semester, and the day after the Super Bowl combined.

Season 2 is done.

But what a season it was. Before we get all sentimental up on this bitch, let's talk about the actual finale, shall we? After the semi-letdown of last episode, we knew this one would bring the funk/pain/noise/etc. and boy did it ever.

The finale begins with Lila standing in front of the cabin that she discovered via Dex's stolen GPS. She finds Doakes held captive and after some chatting, finds out that Dexter is the Bay Harbor Butcher. Her reaction of course is feeling sympathetic for Dexter. Lila wants to protect Dexter so that he will realize how perfect she is for him. Her way of protecting him turning on the gas tank and then turning the stove on near the confined Doakes. Despite near-escape, the nearby pond is soon filled with pieces of Doakes' charred body. To have him mouthing his trademark "motherfucker" when the cabin blew is just too perfect for words.

Not even ten minutes go by in the episode and Doakes is eliminated.

Dexter arrives at the discovered site to find that the cabin is no more. It seems as if Lila has been the Milton to Dexter's Initech. The next day they find Doakes' body and it appears that a bunch of Dexter's problems just got solved all at once. I like how Masuka assumed that it was Doakes based on the body being "African American and heavily muscled." (I'd like to have seen Captain Matthews stand up and order "Quick! Bring in the entire Miami Dolphins team for questioning!")

Since Lila blew up the cabin, it's not directly Dexter's fault that Doakes is dead. Not that he really minds or anything. But the fact that Lila killed a person that meant her no harm now makes her vulnerable to The Code (even if it's sort of in limbo right now) since she is a murderer. And we all know what Dexter does to murderers, right?

The following scene FINALLY shows us where the opening sequence of credits comes from! The best part of this scene was that it explained how Dexter shaves at the beginning of each episode yet still has facial hair during the episode. Thanks, Showtime. I can sleep again.

To show how enthused he is about not being in jail, Dexter goes to Rita's house and has morning sex. After Cody and Astor (the Sex Police) discover Dexter sleeping over, they all share a nice laugh. At this point the credits could have rolled and everything would have been just peachy.

Except for the crazy girl who holds detrimental information on the likable murderer.

While going through items found at the explosion, Dexter finds his GPS navigation system. Assuming Lila stole it, he arranges to meet with her. They both tell each other how much they are meant for one another and decide to run away soon. Except that when Dexter says he wants to run away with her, he actually means sedate her and chop her up so that she can't fuck with his head and life anymore.

Dexter goes to her house the next day to silence her once and for all and it turns out that Debra did the same, checking to see if she left town. It's then when Dexter almost stabs HIS SISTER in the neck with the needle. Oopsies! Lila strolls back from doing errands and realizes what Dexter is planning to do so she nonchalantly takes his bag of tools and peaces out.

We learn that Lundy has already been called out to another case on the West coast and asks Deb if she really wants to bother staying together. Since Deb is still crazily infatuated with her weird bonable daddy figure, she says she'd leave work for him. No you won't, Deb.

Lila goes to Rita's house and subdues the babysitter with Dexter's tools, not because she wants to kidnap Cody and Astor but because she hates Asians. Dexter was given a hint that she would do something dumb and figures that it would involve Rita's kids so he goes to check it out. He finds them missing and has Rita call Deb, who is about to go to the airport. Decision time, Debra! After approximately three hours, she decides to make up her mind and stay instead of running away with Lundy.

Dexter finds Rita's kids just where he thought they'd be: at Lila's house. It's then that she decides to -surprise- light a fire and lock the three very flammable people inside. The kids get out through a window and Dexter is left to break down a wall while looking eerily similar to the Dark Defender comic book character. How much more metaphorical could it have gotten? (None.) It is then that Deb arrives to put out the fire on Dexter's back and reassure him that everything will be all right. How sweet.

Lila skipped town, but it's not long before Dexter catches up with her in Paris where he paralyzes her and places her in a plastic body bag. It is at that time that he courteously thanks her for helping him get through that little phase earlier this season and sinks a knife into her chest. And that's the end of that.

In an attempt to show that the old Dexter is back to stay, we see him receiving a brand new container to store his blood slides in. That alone is a promising endorsement for season three. After a season full of soul searching, where does next season go? Will Dexter go deeper into his own past? What kind of new code and ritual will he adopt? Will Doakes haunt the office with ghostly whispers of "I'm watchin' you, mothafucka!" at night?

Is Dexter evil? Is he good? He's done asking those questions. He doesn't have the answers. Does anyone?

If you feel you have laughed too much reading these 'Morning After' articles each week, I suggest checking out my other websites: JakeKlocksien.com & PandasAreJerks.com.