Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
Badass Pregnant Women
December 19, 2007
Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton),
Women with child often ask "what to expect when you're expecting." Sarah Connor, the expecting mother of a future robot-fighting revolutionary hero, can expect an indestructible time-traveling cyborg programmed to assassinate her. Also, morning sickness and mood swings.
Marge Gunderson (Frances McDormand),
With an adorable Midwestern accent and a 9-month bun in the oven, Brainerd, Minnesota police chief Gunderson forced the world's Dirty Harry fans to re-evaluate their idea of what an ass-kicking detective could be. She's also the coolest thing to come out of Minnesota since Soul Asylum.
Ellen Ripley (Sigourney Weaver),
Despite her decidedly un-sexy Sinead O'Connor haircut, Ellen Ripley becomes the unfortunate single mother of a man-eating extraterrestrial. Even worse, the father pays child support in collected human spinal cords.
Bethany Sloan (Linda Fiorentino),
The Virgin Mary would be an excellent addition to this record, if not for the fact that every biblical epic to feature her is 7 hours long and features a random white character actor as Jesus. Bethany, the unlikely crusader at the center of Kevin Smith's religious comedy, becomes the next best thing when she becomes immaculately conceived, a miracle only slightly more credible than the performance of Ben Affleck as a tortured angel.
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