0 4 points: Wowee, a new bicycle! Neat! It is just what you always wanted, ever since you were five. Now you are old enough to drive and you only have a bicycle. Throw a baseball card in the spokes and pretend you are riding it ironically. You will be the coolest person on two wheels that does not ride a Vespa.
5 8 points: You are going to get the greatest gift of all for the holidays, a Wii! Hooray! If you are Jewish, this means that you are going to get one incredible gift for Chanukah, and then Seven days with no gifts at all. This does not mean your parents do not love you, it just means they only love you an eighth as much as they could. Do not be upset, you got a Wii!
9 12 points: Your parents are giving you a magic flying unicorn for Christmas. This gift, like any pet, will teach you responsibility. Do not forget to feed it gumdrop grains twice a day and let it out to use the bathroom. You must take good care of it for it is said that if a flying unicorn ever dies that the moon will explode and little children will cry.