Have you ever noticed that how attracted you are to someone is directly proportional to how attracted that person is to you?

Let me explain…

Whena guy is overly into me my attraction to him dissipates. However, whena guy only seems FAIRLY interested, it makes my attraction to himstronger than it was before.

Thus the theory of playing hard to get MUST be true — for both men and women.

Whena man comes on too strong, too fast it sends warning signs tinglingdown my spine. Oh tingling. Sometimes that feels nice. Oh wait. We'retalking about the bad tingle. Anyways. When a man like me more than Ilike him, it's a turnoff.

When a guy is moderately interested inme (or acts like it anyway) it sets off the natural "predator" genethat makes me want to track him down, trap him and keep him locked awayfor life.

That my friends, is a good thing.

Deep down Ithink every girl wants to think they won a prize. Frankly, we're nottoo different from men. We love competition. We love knowing that wegot something that somebody else wanted. Shallow, yes. True,absolutely. Pathetic, probably.

And I won't lie that my MO isthat I choose guys who are generally unavailable. Married? Sure.Girlfriend? Why Not. Working a 80 hr workweek? What a challenge!

Ithink deep down most girls look at these more as challenges than asdeal breakers. Or maybe I'm just a mental slut. That could be the case.

Factof the matter is I'm torn between what I should look for in a personshould I go for someone that I really like or the person who's readilyavailable?

I've done readily available before and that's how I decided to turn celibate. Obviously the experience wasn't the best.

Butthe real problem lies in my mental psyche. Deep down, I don't think Iwant a relationship right now, which is what is making dating difficultat the moment.

Who would think it'd be so hard to find a 20-something year old guy who just wants to play pool and go fishing?

God I hate South Florida.

EveryoneI've met either wants to get married or just wants to be friends. Orwants to fuck you while he's living with his ex-girlfriend.

You know I had to throw that in there sometime.

I guess my rambling point is, that the closer I get to Mr. Possibility the more I freak out.

It'sa basic psychological theory —- the closer you get to something, theless you want it —- the further you get from it, the more you want itagain.

Readers, I'm both exhilarated and scared to tears.

DoI really want to find Mr. Possibility? Or am I just completely stallingbecause I'm scared to tears of being with someone again?

Imagine 1360 days without a sex and relationship. Then all of a sudden you have one.


2000 Days here I come.

- 1361 Days