You're going to die. Someday. That's not a threat. Just chill, dude. Stop. No. Don't call the cops. Please? Just answer the questions below to see if you'll be eviscerated by murder-bots or drown in a pool filled with cake, ice cream and bacon!

When it's really, really cold you like to:
Go streaking (0 points)
Stay inside and light up a fat joint (1 point)
Stay inside and catch up on Bang Bus (2 points)
Stay inside, download a movie and order some Papa J's (3 points)

You are depressed when:
No one else wants to play ultimate (0 points)
You're broke (1 point)
The Internet goes down, or your roommate comes back (2 points)
You think you are becoming lactose intolerant (3 points)

Where do you and your friends usually hang out?
Intramural field (0 points)
Couch (1 point)
Student center (2 points)
Cafeteria (3 points)

What's your fondest childhood memory?
Building forts and snowball fights during the first snow day of the year (0 points)
Smoking cigerettes outside the local convenience store (1 point)
Finding your Dad's porno collection (2 points)
Pizza day at school (3 points)

Which of these people do you most want to be like?
Sir Edmund Hillary (0 points)
Jim Morrison (1 point)
Tommy Lee from Motley Crue/Pamela Anderson/Heather Locklear (2 points)
Rachael Ray (3 points)

When you're in class, you daydream about:
Skiing (0 points)
Flying purple sheep, rainbows, the universe, a sandwich, etc. (1 point)
The girl in front of you (2 points)
Dinner (3 points)

Do you always remember to take your vitamins?
No (0 points)
Yes (3 points)

At your funeral you want them to play:
"The Final Countdown" as they lower the casket (0 points)
The Grateful Dead, or if they Dark Star Orchestra comes and plays that's fine (1 point)
"Whoomp! (There it is)" as the strippers are stripping (2 points)
The song from the pizza bagels commercial (When pizzas on a bagel, you eat pizza any time!) (3 points)