Hairs of red, orange, and white
Promise me a lovely night
Packed inside a bowl so tight
Hit it first? I think I might

With my bong of shiny glass
I will soon be stoned off my ass
Hit it hard, and hit it fast
Dude I hope this bud will last.

Now grab the chips and grab the dip
And Mountain Dew, but just a sip
It's time for one more monster rip
Suck in the smoke, prepare to trip

Colors blur and eyes get chinky
Farts will fly, some very stinky
Planet Earth? That sounds delightful!
Though Australian beachworms can be quite frightful

Crank the tunes, let's hear some Phish
"Farmhouse" please, that's what I wish
Or would you prefer Jimi Hendrix?
Dude that's cool, his shit's tremen-dix

How I love my 3-foot bong
I'd like to smoke it all night long
Curved and graceful, light and strong
But wait a minute, something's wrong

It seems at last we're out of pot
The end of fun? Of course it's not!
We'll just use our imaginations…

Rezzy, anyone?