Plot: Chronicles everyday exploits of middle class black family in Chicago and their nerdy, annoying, but lovable next door neighbor.

Fact: Second-longest running comedy with African American cast in American television with less white characters than a BET award show.

Carl Winslow: Proud member of the Chicago Police Department who eventually moved up to Captain, Carl had everything you would ever look for in someone whose job was "to serve and protect;" he was short and fat and his temper was like a ticking time bomb, evidenced by his impatience with neighbor Steve Urkel. After the show, Carl battled obesity and depression, which put a big distraction on his marriage with Harriette, which ultimately led to divorce. After seeing the success of Al Roker's gastric bypass surgery, Carl took his weight into the hands of modern technology, and lost 150 pounds. Newly skinny and happy, Carl eventually re-married Rachel (Harriette's sister and his secret obsession) after her Restaurant burned down and she filed for bankruptcy. Richie was against the marriage of his mother and former uncle and refused to attend the wedding.

Harriette Winslow: The glue that held the Winslow family together, Harriette was a stern disciplinarian. Her authoritative nature combined with Carl's weight problem made it a guarantee that she was on top for their rare sexual encounters. Probably the most caring and patient of the Winslows, Harriette was always sympathetic to Steve. After her divorce with Carl and a lack of Social Security, Harriette was forced to get a job at the local Wal-Mart as a "People Greeter" for $6.15 per hour. After falsely accusing her boss (an 18-year-old high school dropout with acne) of sexual harassment, Harriette was fired. She now lives on the couch at the retirement home with 109-year-old Grandma Winslow and has a prescription for medical marijuana due to arthritis.

Steve Urkel: Ask any elementary school age kid in the early 90s if they had watched "Family Matters" and they would have stared at you like a father finding out their son is gay. But ask them if they had watched "The Steve Urkel Show" and they would have instantly responded, "Did I do that?" The sole reason for the success of the show, Steve proved society's lack of a conscious for laughing at just about anything a black kid with suspenders would do. Obsessed with Laura Winslow, Steve tried unsuccessfully for years to earn her love. Steve's alter-ego and just one of his impossible inventions Stefan had better luck. After the show, Laura got knocked up by Stefan (who leaves her when he hears the news) and Steve was forced to make an "abortion potion." Unfortunately for the baby, the potion failed to work and instead left Laura with cramps and a baby son that looked like a mix between Al Sharpton and Whoopie Goldberg. Not able to look Laura in the eyes again after seeing the consequences of his disastrous inventions, Steve shot himself with one of Carl's pistols from the Chicago Police Department.

Laura Winslow: The former "Daddy's girl" in earlier seasons, Laura quickly turned into the slut who dressed like a teenage foster child as the show hit the mid 90s. Not taking Tia Tequila's advice seriously and giving Steve a "Shot at Love," Laura regretfully turned down the chance to be with someone who cared for her and whose genius would of surely mader her rich. Instead, she ultimately became a single mother who blamed her child for her misfortune. Laura can currently be seen shopping for baby clothes at the local Wal-Mart thanks in part to a great discount from her 18-year-old boyfriend with acne.

Eddie Winslow: The essential meathead who sported the hip, urban fade later made popular on the "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air," Eddie was the pride of his father Carl; tall, relatively good looking and to this day can see his own dick. Basically, everything that Carl wasn't. Although Steve confessed that Eddie was his best friend, Eddie admitted that "Waldo Faldo" was his best friend (probably because Waldo made Eddie look like Einstein in comparison). But after the show, it was revealed that the real reason for their friendship was that they were gay (the Eddie Winslow charm and Chicago Bulls Starter Jacket had us all fooled). Eddie and Waldo moved to and married in Massachusetts and currently speak to local high schools about "Tolerance." They support Barack Obama in 2008. Upon hearing this, Carl immediately removed himself from any contact with his son. Eddie would later leave a drunk voicemail sarcastically saying, "At least Waldo can see my dick."