Hey buddy, remember me? That's right, I'm you from the past. I'm writing from the year 2006, the most important one so far. And I've got a surprise for you- the time capsule this letter is attached to. It's filled with objects, and history. I've also left some DNA.
Maybe you're wondering why you can't remember making this. It's simple. I am drinking quite heavily as I write. Yet, my syntax is phenomenal, which proves that I'm okay. Sooner or later though, I'm going to black out. This will allow me to travel into the future.
Taped to this letter is a box. Inside, you should find Schroedinger's cat.(It is actually our cat, but S.'s experiment is replicated exactly.) Now, I don't know if it's alive or dead, but based on my limited knowledge of science, it is incredibly radioactive. You should harness that power to come back in time and stop me from putting our cat in the time capsule.I feel really bad about it now.
Just a heads up- I left some eggs around the house. But they're hard-boiled, so they should still be good. If you haven't found them yet, they're in the freezer, the bathroom garbage, and wherever toilet water goes when you flush it. There's one in the box with the cat, too.
This letter might look plain, but it's actually covered in invisible ink, that you have to pee on to activate. Come on, give it a try- it's a map to buried treasure.
Wow, I can't believe you actually did that. Come on,man, you only wrote this a couple years ago. You're really slippin'. And by now you've probably realized that your "treasure" is fifty cents in nickels. But take a look at the date on those nickels: Yeah, 2006. By my calculations, they're now worth a small fortune. You're welcome.