LAS VEGAS, NV In the latest Democratic Primary Debate in Las Vegas, Nevada, Hillary Clinton, in the midst of a heated discussion with Barack Obama called him the "n-word". The comment was made during a discussion on whether human and kangaroo marriage should be legalized. An argument between the two senators developed as John Edwards sat off camera as always. As the intensity of the argument reached its boiling point, Senator Obama said "Senator Clinton, if a man wishes to marry a marsupial, there should be no laws in place obstructing their free will, and I think you're too much of an ice queen to see that." It was in response to Obama's comment when Clinton dropped the n-bomb.
A great deal of awkward silence ensued after the comment was made by Senator Clinton. A distant, but apparent voice in audience loudly shouted "Oh Snap!" as the candidates and moderators looked at each other with a level of horror beyond any human's comprehension.
After a long period of uncomfortable throat clearing, arbitrary paper shuffling, and open-mouthed stares, the candidates were able to continue the debate as scheduled. The nationally televised debate was held on major television and cable networks, and was not recorded on a tape delay. This allowed millions of Americans to witness the event live, thus resulting in 4 confirmed heart attack deaths and a stroke.
It seems with only one slip of the tongue Senator Clinton has committed political suicide. However, Senator Clinton is about to get help from where she least expects it. The Republican National Committee has issued a statement that might be Clinton's saving grace. In the statement, the party said that in light of recent events, even though Hillary Clinton is a Democrat, the Republicans wished to nominate her as their presidential candidate. Fred Thomson, Republican presidential hopeless has already endorsed Hillary Clinton, along with the 39 Republican senators, the NRA, the KKK, and Wayne Brady. Recent polls show Senator Clinton has captivated the South where she is now the frontrunner.
Republicans have solved their problem of finding a candidate that will stand up for their out-dated intolerant views. Three rich white guys had each won an early state primary, and Republicans were spilt when determining who would represent their party. Luckily, Hillary's last egg was festering in her dried out uterus and there was no Midol in sight. The country is more polarized along race lines now than after the verdict of the O.J. Simpson trial.
We would now like to report that riots have erupted in major cities across the nation in response to Clinton's comments, and that Los Angeles has completely burnt to the ground.