With the Presidential Race heating up, (only like 7000 months till election..)it may be hard to decide who to vote for…And with the media focusing on the astonishing fact that Hilary Clinton is not a dude and Barack Obama is (gasp!) not a white dude, it may be hard to uncover any information on who to vote for…so here's a simple guide that I hope will help you out in choosing the next president of one ofthe most powerful nation in the world..Good Luck!!! (and don't fuck it up this time!)





If you would like to throw your vote away:

Ron Paul
Mike Gravel

If you REALLY want to throw your vote away:

Duncan Hunter
Fred Thompson
Chris Dodd
Dennis Kucinich
Bill Richardson
Santa Claus
Ralph Na..who gives a shit?

If you believe in a man who actually stands up for what he believes in, never takes money from corporations, wants troops out of Iraq, and has plans for solving the Energy Crisis, Health Care, and Immigration:

John Edwards
Santa Claus
Ralph Na…ehh on second thought…

If your afraid of people accusing you of being racist, and you decide in order to not be racist, you should exclude the white guy, cause its not racism if it's the white guy being excluded:

Barack Obama
Mr. T?

If you find the idea of Bill Clinton becoming the "First Man" even somewhat amussing:

Hilary Clinton
Barack Obama?

If you believe all Republicans should be executed:

Hilary Clinton
Jesus

If you believe all Democrats should be executed:

Rudy Guliani
Stephen Colbert

If you want a president who believes in liquified coal and nuclear power to solve our energy crisis, harbour illegal immigrants, owns stock holdings in companies which support the Sudanesse government, which supports the genocide, was personally against abortion, but pro-choice as a governer and has flip-flopped on issues such as gay rights and embryonic stem cells:

Mitt Romney

If you belive a robotic-like retard, whohas fooled voters into liking, by using attack ads on fairly good candidates like Huckabee or McCain, and uses his unlimited supply of money to gain every delegate he can, should become president:

Mitt Romney

If your decision is based on the guy with the shortest first name:

Mitt Romney
Rudy Guliani (if you can't count)
Mr. T?


If you haven't realized who you shouldn't vote for by now:

Stay at Home During the Election

(or see: first 2)