1) All guys are creeps. Gynecologists are creeps, step brothers are creeps, guys in high school are creeps, and even guys who have sworn to celibacy are creeps. The only way to teach them not be creeps is to sleep with them, and bite their dicks off with your vagina.

2) "I haven't jerked off since Easter" is not a suitable reason for a girl to have sex with you. Additionally, answering the phone while having sex and bragging to one of your buddies will probably get your dick bitten off by a vagina.

3) When your dick gets bitten off by a vagina, a few things happen. First, you feel pain. Then, disbelief. Then, you look down at the stump where your penis used to be and go into shock. Next, you STOP RAPING PEOPLE.

Learn any valuable life lessons from a movie lately? Send your experiences to whatmoviesteachme@gmail.com and if you're lucky I'll post them.