And, we're off!

Jamie-Lynn Spears has been busy boning other dudes while she's been knocked up, and is even allegedly using her pregnancy as a birth control. Think she learned that trick from her big sister? [WWTDD]

Britney is apparently attempting to get Governor Schwarzenegger to help her gain legal control of her estate (her dad is currently the boss). Maybe they should just compare crappy career moves instead. So what if she doesn't have her kids – she didn't make Kindergarten Cop! [IDLYITW]

Borat's wife is hot. Like, really hot. And – gasp – not crazy! [Egotastic]

Lindsay Lohan is not hot. Like, really not hot. And – sigh – still fucking crazy. [Egotastic]

Kim Kardashian's butt is now the spokes-ass for Bongo jeans. Because her cheeks very literally look like bongo drums. [IDLYITW]

Some chick named Amy Smart had a nipple slip this week. If a not-that-famous actress lets a boob pop out, do we care? You tell me. [HollywoodTuna]

Paris probably cares, seeing as she seems to have a thing for the ladies. Here she is getting cozy with Laguna Beyotch, Kristen Cavallari. [CelebSlam]

For more MILF action, check out these pics of new mom Christina Aguilera making a BJ face while showing off her new boobs. Her son's friends are totes gonna beat off to her in a decade or two. I get the feeling she knows this, and likes it. [Celebslam]

Weirdo actress Bai Ling was arrested for stealing two magazines and some batteries from an airport store. Say wha? I hope she nabbed two issues of Playgirl and some batts for her vibrator. [DListed]

And finally, a new hero has been born. Paris Hilton's baby brobro – Barron, 18 – was arrested for drunk driving AND for giving the cops a fake idea! Clearly low IQs run in the family. Welcome to the neighborhood, Barron. We look forward to seeing you in rehab in 2 years. [IDLYITW]

Welcome back, writers. We missed you.

—Kate