Every time I see you, my day gets a little bit better.  You make me smile just by being you, and I thank you for that. 

Late Freshman:
        No, I'm not referring to the terrified looking freshwoman comm major shaking  with fear in the health center waiting room.  I'm talking about the short, acne-plagued, unshowered frosh chem major sprinting across campus at 8:59am.  The thought of walking into lecture late and being stared at by 200 students, 4 TA's and 1 professor instills a fear in this unfortunate soul that fuels his tiny legs to propel him across the quad.  Running with a backpack is awkward enough, but his is filled with every textbook, notebook, and book book for each of his 5 classes.  Approximately 3 times in 10 he's going to fall down at least once.  Triple that probability if its raining and bet the farm if its icy.  The fall is even so much worse considering his backpack is inevitably sporting a broken zipper from its constant abuse; books and papers and pencils go flying to display a "yardsale " of carnage normally reserved for beginner skiiers on double black diamonds.
        Late freshman, you make me smile and I thank you.  I wish you would never grow up and learn to skip any class you realize that you're going to be late for.


Angry Intramural Team Captain:
        Sir, you seem to have forgotten that you quit varsity soccer during preseason of your freshman year.  Now, as a senior and team captain, you apparently believe that winning the consolation semi-finals will return you to the glory that was your junior year of high school.  The casual disregard for half the rules and complete lack of effort by everyone else on the field is simply unacceptable to you.  You make sure to berate your own team approximately every 53 seconds and then pretty much continuously in the final few minutes of the game.  Equally as amusing as your mid-game tirades of hate-filled squeals is your pregame peptalk that spews forth more enthusiasm than the entire rest of the team combined.  You will inevitably follow-up this speech with an apology/peptalk during half-time.
       Angry Intramural Team Captain, you make me smile and I thank you.  Please grow up to be a gym coach.