A man finds himself in Heaven. A loud voice booms down from above.
Voice: Hello Bill! Welcome to Heaven.
Bill: Thanks! Great to be here. Who are you?
Voice: It's me, God.
Bill: Oh. Cool. I guess.
God: You guess?
Bill: Well, I did pray to you, a lot. And you never answered.
God: I did too!
Bill: Well, eventually, but I kept asking for you to take the pain away.
God: I did.
Bill: I had cancer for 2 years!
God: I know, I got you good, didn't I?
God: Punk'd son! You got punk'd. P, U, N, K, apostrophe, D!
Bill: What are you talking about?
God: The whole cancer thing. It was my little practical joke. I got you good. I mean, look at the look on your face!
A monitor appears showing Bill as his doctor tells him he has cancer.
Bill: What the?!?
God: No cursing Bill. This is heaven, not H, E, double hockey sticks. Seriously, though, look how shocked you are. Bam!
Bill: This was a joke to you?
God: And how! Wait, wait, wait. Check out the look on your face when you told your wife and kids. Boom! So good. Epic.
Bill: I, I was completely distraught. This ruined my life.
God: Duh, that's why you're here. You're dead. Oh, oh, oh, here comes my favorite part. Chemo.
Bill: That was horrible. I was vomiting all the time. I could barely get out of bed.
God: I know!! St. Petey and I couldn't stop laughing. High-larious! And you kept going back for more!
Bill: (horrified) It was supposed to help. It did help! The cancer went into remission!
God: I know! That was part of the plan. Here you are, happy as a clam again, then boom, dead in a week.
Bill: That was the worst week of my life.
God (aside) Hey, Michael, Gabriel, come here. Look who I found! It's Bill! Remember. "ugh, I just want to die, please kill me God, boo hoo" Priceless, right!? Oh, Bill you were a hoot. Thanks for being such a good sport.
Bill: My family my friends.
God: Don't worry, they'll be joining you soon! I've got a great car accident punk for them!
Bill: That's terrible!
God: C'mon and watch with us, it'll be awesome. There's gonna be a sweet fire in it too!
Bill starts weeping.
God: C'mon, don't be like that. It's just a little practical joke. Oh, hey, Gabriel, bring the marshmallows for this one, we'll make s'mores. Catch you later Bill, thanks for being such a sport!