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After a semester and a half of 10 o'clock lights out, non-stop b*tching and moaning, and an appetite of food that was not his own, my suite knew he had it coming. Removing the bolts from his bed would be obvious, however, replacing them with pencils would be perfect. After a crash from his bed, and the worry of repairing it before room inspection the following day, we got him back… plus, he thinks the bolts he tightened the week before were never there. He believes the, now shattered, pencils were always holding the bed up.
Please keep this anonymous

My roommate had always been a huge mooch. He'd take my food without asking, if he came home too drunk, he wouldn't climb up to his top bunk, he'd just pass out in my bottom one, and he'd use my computer all the time without asking because his was too messed up from porn viruses. The final straw came when he stole my math book, which had a hard cover, returnable for $50 during book buyback time. Everyone on my hall told me he was bragging about how he got a "free" sack of weed because he stole it. Next semester, I transferred to a different school. When I got my computer set up at my new school, I found my old roommate had saved his username and password for the old school's website on my computer. I waited until the day before the class drop/add deadline and I unenrolled him from all his classes. My friends from the floor told me he wasn't able to take any classes that semester and he had to get a job at a gas station.
Eric, Colorado State

Freshman year, my roommate was the definition of a pussy. The thing that pissed me off most was that he was a vegan. I would eat a burger and he would bitch me out. So one night me an bunch of buddies from our dorm filled his bed with lobsters and steak. His reaction was priceless. He flipped shit and ran out of the room crying. He went home and didn't come back for two weeks. He immediately filed for a room change and when he came to get his shit out of our dorm, he wouldn't even look at me.
Mike, School Not Given

This one time, me and my roomate went out partying. We got totally hammered and when we came back, I puked as we walked in right next to his bed. In the morning, he asked who threw up and I told him it was him, though I was too drunk to remember. After he cleaned it up, I found puke on my shoes, pants, and shirt near the cuffs, indicating that it was indeed me to releases the gastric torrent upon our floor, trash can, and part of the sink. I hid the evidence, washed it, and told everyone he puked all over the room.
Randy, Penn State

My roommate would stumble back into our room eyes red and would then proceed to to play Xbox live until 4 in the morning. I could deal with that, but the worse part of his habit was that he would eat all of the food in the room. I'd wake up in the morning and there would be trash all around his bed, empty dough nut boxes, 4 or 5 empty bottles of soda and chip crumbs all over the carpet and his chest hair. I was at the local grocery store one day with a friend and he pointed out to me that all the food that I was buying would probably be gone by the next time I woke up. Now the one food that my roommate loved to munch out to more than anything else was beef jerky. So I bought an ordinary bag of jerky and a bag of dog treats that resembled jerky. I pulled a switcheroo, ate all the real jerky and put the dog food back in the jerky bag. I placed the bag right on top of my desk when I got back to my room. Like clockwork he came back that night all giggly and sat down for his nightly Xbox session. I left and came back in half an hour, and sitting next to him on the couch was an empty bag of what I knew to be dog food. I don't even think he noticed.
Will, Washington College