1. Apparently the Titanic had survivors?? And as of 1997, they were really old.

2. Chicks love mysterious, artsy guys.

3. Or do they just love guys named Jack?

4. Or only guys that look like Leo DiCaprio?? Whatever.

5. If you stand at the front of a boat and hold your arms out, it's not lame at all. In fact, it's really romantic.

6. What boobs look like.

Editor's note: When I started this column, I had only planned on featuring current movies, but Tommy's insanely outdated contribution has inspired me. Feel free to post a review of ANY movie, and we can all reminisce together. Happy 10 year anniversary of your first theatre boner.