Hello friends. Let's leap into this gossip, shall we? (I know, I know. Horrible joke.)

1. Hugh Hefner wants Lindsay Lohan to pose in Playboy. As if there weren't enough burnt out old ladies in that mag already. [Egotastic]

2. Lindsay's little sister Ali Lohan, 14, is desperate to be just like her big sis! Yes, a life of random sex, coke nose, and self-tanner is something toward which all young girls should aspire. Dream big! [WWTDD]

3. Ashlee Simpson is not yet pregnant or engaged. She IS still annoying and untalented, however. [WWTDD]

4. Jessica Alba got teased for her big boobs in 6th grade. And now we can tease her for whining about it when she was 28, hot, and way richer than us. [IDLYITW]

5. Kate Hudson is probably fucking both Justin Timberlake and Owen Wilson. Boning Britney Spears' and Jessica Simpson's sloppy seconds is nothing to be proud of. [CelebSlam]

6. I'd rather look at Rihanna in this freaky-ass dominatrix outfit over naked Paris Hilton anyday. [HollywoodTuna/DListed]

7. Though naked Diablo Cody is kind of unexpectedly hot, honest to blog. [Egotastic]

8. BTW, Paris Hilton is dating Benji Madden, brother of Nicole Richie's baby-daddy. That they could possibly become sister-in laws is their dream and the world's nightmare. [Hollywoodtuna]

9. Hulk Hogan had an affair with his daughter's 33-year old BFF. As part of his apology, here are some bikini pics of his daughter Brooke. [Celebslam/Hollywoodtuna]

10. And finally, the Oscars happened, and they were boring. [Hollywoodtuna]

Fucking Jen Garner,
Kate