1.) Crispin Glover was born to play the role of George McFly… and therefore has no particular reason to still be alive.

2.) It's possible to carry on a perfectly normal relationship with your mother, even after she's tried to have sex with you.

3.) Also possible? A female ancestor on your father's side who looks exactly like your mom.

4.) Contrary to what seems logical, walking around in a pair of 3-D glasses will NOT improve your ability to beat up buttheads.

5.) It comes across as racist to call a group of black musicians "reefer addicts," even if they are, in fact, smoking reefer when you say that.

6.) Winning some award for writing a science fiction novel is just as worthy of a front-page headline as getting murdered.

7.) Some time between now and 2015, theaters will be inundated with no less than 15 "Jaws" sequels. For unknown reasons, the quality of CGI will plummet.

8.) In just a few years, my shiny rainbow baseball cap will finally be considered cool – instantly justifying the lifetime of beatings I've received for wearing it.

9.) I don't care what Marty says, Biff Tannen knows how to run a f**king town.