March 9, 2008

To Whom It May Concern:

John A. Sprinklestein

John A. Sprinklestein is a registered student of Sophomore standing in my CHEM 232 session this fall. His student identification number is 38529252. That being said, I do not have any further personal information regarding John. However, according to his name I presume he is a Caucasian male composed entirely of sprinkles.

Considering I have no way to judge his performance since he asked me to write this recommendation during the third week of class, he is probably of sub par intelligence, most likely majoring in Fish and Wildlife Preservation. I asked John's discussion T.A. about him earlier in the week, but unfortunately he reported that he also has no idea who John is except that he may be a Caucasian male made up entirely of sprinkles.

Here, I would usually write about the individual's numerous activities, but when I received John's resume the only extra-curricular activity mentioned was Cheers for Beers, an underage social drinking event hosted by his fraternity in order to raise money for a semester of rush parties.

All in all, John is probably a kind hearted guy. His name is funny, most likely resulting in a four year college experience involving heavy drinking and excessive eating. So yes, I would recommend John if the job entailed being an imbecile with a complete misunderstanding of how the world works, or if President Bush wants a day off. I will leave you with the same words John left me on his e-mail inquiry, "aight peece dude thxx a lot."


Christopher R. Moore (Ph.D)