Brit's locked up at home, Paris is in love, and Lindsay's too busy admiring her V to do anything scandalous. I need some skanks to do something! Until then I'll just spoon with Lindsay blow up doll. So here's what I got for you – have fun tearing it apart. [HollywoodTuna]

1. Mandy Moore's mom is a lesbian and got caught up in some girl-on-girl love triangle. If only it was her daughter doin' it with the ladies. Am I right, fellow females? I'd pinch hit for a chance to bat against Mandy, know what I'm sayin'? [IDLYITW]

2. Eliot Spitzer, my fine, former Governor here in NY, got caught up in a scandal this week after it came out that he boned prostitutes. Spitzer resigned, so now we can just focus on how hot the chick he boned – on the night before Valentine's Day! – is. Like, seriously HOT. If only you had $4000. [IDLYITW]

3. Here are some racy pics of Sienna Miller. I don't know if they qualify as sexy because her ancient man-beast boyfriend is in them. So jerk-off at your own risk. [WWTDD/Egotastic]

4. Britney's new video is a cartoon made in 1994 with her song dropped over it. Whatever it takes to have a career! [WWTDD]

5. These three freaks showed up at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Inductions. One of them even won an award for Best Botox. [IDLYITW]

6.Here's the leaked trailer for the new Incredible Hulk movie! [DListed]

7. Joe Francis, the Girls Gone Wild predator, has just been released prison. Right in time for spring break! Ladies, keep your shirts on, please. [DListed]

8. Forget Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson – the pair are now dating, maybe, and therefore they're now known as Waaaaaaaaaaaaniston. Nothing says love like two depressed people humping each other. [WWTDD]

9. Jennifer Lopez is now refusing to be called J. Lo, but what is REALLY amazing are these pics of her without makeup. Blegh! Seriously, she should be called J. LOW. [IDLYITW]

10. And finally, here is Britney – my wondrous, sweet, Britney – looking almost human. Keep it up, my precious. [HollywoodTuna]

Spellchecked, maybe,