Subject: [Hitchcock] WARNING: I'm in your iTunes, raising my eyebrows
Date: March 14, 2008 12:42:12 AM CDT

Hello Snell-Hitchcock.

If you remember, I sent an email to Hitchcock earlier in the school year about the dangers of sharing your iTunes library on a local network, but I guess I was being too subtle. I was actually directing this advice to those members of the house who kept their explicit video and/or audio files in their iTunes library and were unwittingly sharing it with the house. In other words, I am indeed watching your porn.

If you want me to stop watching it, there are several ways you can go about it:

—You can delete it from your iTunes library (hit the Delete key, or right-click the file in your library and select Delete) without actually deleting it from your computer.

—In Preferences, under the Sharing tab/submenu, you can uncheck "Share my library on my local network" to stop sharing entirely. "Look for shared libraries" is a separate box, so you can hide your porn while still looking at everybody else's.

—Under the same tab, you can password-lock your library. You can then share the password with your inner cabal of friends or, alternatively, charge people for it, if you're going for that porn-site mystique.

—Again under the same tab, you can opt to share specific playlists rather than your entire library. Just be careful not to put all your porn into one playlist and then make that the one you share with all of us.

—There are, of course, more drastic measures you can take: never opening your iTunes again, disconnecting your ethernet cable, deleting your porn entirely (LOL), etc. A slightly less drastic method is changing your iTunes shared name (under the General tab in Preferences) to that of your roommate or next door neighbor, but I worry that this would instead inspire you to put even more porn into your iTunes library, thereby completely defeating the point of this email.

Keep in mind that if I can watch it, so can anyone else in the house with iTunes. And if you're in the Reg, you are potentially sharing your porn with everybody else in the library.

If you have porn on your computer but are unsure that it's listed in your iTunes library, I recommend checking very carefully just in case. This is especially prudent if your porn happens to include audio files as well as video files. I know there are a few of you out there. I was thisclose to making a house meeting Powerpoint on inter-dorm porn with piecharts and 3D bar graphs and slide transitions with audio, but frankly I have too much work this quarter. However, Spring Quarter is an entirely different matter, since I will only be taking three classes.

XOXXXO, jchoi

P.S. Our RCA Robert says that, as far as he knows, your computer cannot contract a virus from accessing other people's shared iTunes files. I asked him so that you won't have to.