CEO of Easter: Jesus come in, please, take a seat
Jesus: Oh man i'm so glad you guys asked me to come in, this is my time of year, my time to shine
CEO: Jesus we know you've had a tough year, what with the number of your clergy suspected of pedophelia
Jesus: Hey at least i wasn't involved, Even if my dads name was mentioned during, HIYOOOO!
CEO 2: But it was an epic scandal no less
Jesus: Seriously i've distanced myself as much as possible you don't have to worry about a thing
CEO: Then there's your public spat with the christmas holidays..
Jesus: Oh that, thats nothing
CEO 2: Really, well you were quoted as saying "That fat, white bearded mother fucker can never replace me, its my fuckin birthday, people won't forget, you'll come crawling back, and when you do i'll take that red suit and i'll……" well i don't think i have to say anymore, you covered most in your public apology to proctologists and elves everywhere.
Jesus: As you said i apologised, plus people seemed to forget about me and my birthday straight away
CEO: It's these things plus a few others that made us call you in today.
Jesus: Whats going on guys
CEO: Your fired jesus
Jesus: WHAT! just because of the priests and christmas
CEO: Well there are other things
CEO 2: Like the crucifix
Jesus: I died on the cross for the sins of humanity!
CEO 2: Oh we know how it goes, and believe us we are really thankful that you did what you did, but it's more about the imagery
Jesus: huh
CEO 2: Yeah we're going for a more family oriented Easter this year, and to be honest a bloody, dying jesus on a cross, really it's the opposite of what we are going for
Jesus: And let me guess the obese asshole is coming back in a fuckin blue suit this time
CEO: Well no, we were thinking an animal would be better for easter, we've been brainstorming but we haven't made a choice between a chicken or a rabbit yet, it's one or the other
CEO 2: We're looking for something that sells
Jesus: HOW ABOUT THIS! A fucking rabbit that shits out chicken eggs made of shit, that godless freak would surely make a profit
CEO: What do you think steve?
CEO 2: Make the eggs out of chocolate and we got a winner
CEO: Thanks jesus, you got us an early lunch

Jesus: I should never have moved out of dads basement