Guitar Hero: So. You're looking pretty dusty these days.

Real Guitar: Yeah well at least I have my dignity. I'm a real instrument you know? Not a cheap plastic toy.

Guitar Hero: Don't be jealous because Luke hammers on my buttons all day while you sit in the corner alone. 

Real Guitar: He still gives me attention…
                                                                                                                                                            Guitar Guitar Hero: Yeah like four notes of "Stairway to Heaven" then he gets frustrated and comes crawling back to me.

Real Guitar: Their called CHORDS! And any ignorant butthole can tap buttons!

Guitar Hero: Yeah? Well the other day he had his friends over and they all played me at once!

Real Guitar: You disgust me.

Guitar Hero: "Through The Flames And The Fire" on expert. It was magnificent.

Real Guitar: It's not fair, if only he had the attention span…we could be great together.

Guitar Hero: Why would he waste hours struggling with you when he can play in front of millions of screaming fans with me?

Real Guitar: Their not real people! You know how long it's been since I've been touched? I haven't even been tuned in 6 months and-

Guitar Hero: Reeeeeeeeeeeeed Bluuuuuuuuuuuuue Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellow

Real Guitar: Don't patronize me you virtual slut.

Guitar Hero: Ha Ha, you know the only reason he keeps you around is so he can act like a sensitive musician.

Real Guitar: You don't know what you're talking about… that doesn't make sense…

Guitar Hero: Oh it makes perfect sense- Oh now if you don't mind Luke's back to have his way with me so i'll talk to you later.
Real Guitar: I just want to be touched.