Guitar Hero: So. You're looking pretty dusty these days.
Real Guitar: Yeah well at least I have my dignity. I'm a real instrument you know? Not a cheap plastic toy.
Guitar Hero: Don't be jealous because Luke hammers on my buttons all day while you sit in the corner alone.
Real Guitar: He still gives me attention
Guitar Guitar Hero: Yeah like four notes of "Stairway to Heaven" then he gets frustrated and comes crawling back to me.
Real Guitar: Their called CHORDS! And any ignorant butthole can tap buttons!
Guitar Hero: Yeah? Well the other day he had his friends over and they all played me at once!
Real Guitar: You disgust me.
Guitar Hero: "Through The Flames And The Fire" on expert. It was magnificent.
Real Guitar: It's not fair, if only he had the attention span we could be great together.
Guitar Hero: Why would he waste hours struggling with you when he can play in front of millions of screaming fans with me?
Real Guitar: Their not real people! You know how long it's been since I've been touched? I haven't even been tuned in 6 months and-
Guitar Hero: Reeeeeeeeeeeeed Bluuuuuuuuuuuuue Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellow
Real Guitar: Don't patronize me you virtual slut.
Guitar Hero: Ha Ha, you know the only reason he keeps you around is so he can act like a sensitive musician.
Real Guitar: You don't know what you're talking about that doesn't make sense
Guitar Hero: Oh it makes perfect sense- Oh now if you don't mind Luke's back to have his way with me so i'll talk to you later.
Real Guitar: I just want to be touched.