Hey, you know that program you watch on the scrambled HBO channel when you go to your parents' house for the weekend? The one with the scantily clad, sweaty people rubbing themselves all over each other. No, the other one. The one that can sell action figures. To kids. OK, the WWE. I sat down with WWE Superstar Melina and talked about rabbits, broken bones, and how similar your family is to behemoths dealing near-lethal blows to each other on a canvas square.

What's the worst wrestling-related injury you've ever sustained/inflicted?

Well, thank god I haven't inflicted any kind of injury to anybody, that would sit on my conscience forever! While I was training, the worst that happened was I broke my hand. I went for a drop down and my hand bent backwards right in the middle. That was the only bad injury I've had under contract with the WWE. But 8 years ago in my first match ever, I had a partner and we did a tag move. He landed me and I went sideways on my knee and dislocated my kneecap. That hurt.

Of all your wrestling moves, what's your favorite one?

Of course my finisher! I'm still trying to think of the perfect name for it because to me, my finisher is different, it's my own. So that's my favorite, because it shows not only that its impactful, but its trademarked to me, because I do the splits!

What's the most insane fan encounter you've ever had?

Well, nothing to crazy-crazy, but a guy came up and said he was a big fan and just did a split right in front of me! And two people wanted me to autograph their arms, and then they went and tattooed it. That's the only two really different things that have happened.

So you're fighting in the BunnyMania Match in the upcoming Wrestlemania, and you're not a big fan of Playboy. So you'll fight bunnies, but you won't pose as one. What do you have against rabbits?

OK, I love rabbits. Rabbits that are useful, you know? Like the Energizer bunny and the Easter bunny. Playboy bunnies- I guess they serve a purpose, but when it comes to wrestling, what does Playboy have to do with anything? A match is a match, and I shouldn't be judged for my choices, whether I want to show my "goods" or not. The whole point of last years' WrestleMania was "Hey! I'm women's champion! Give me credit for what I did in the ring!" Why is the focus on Ashley being naked? What did she do? Did she have to train for that? No! It took me 8 years to be able to do what I do, and no one has given me credit for that! Come on.

Let me give you a hypothetical situation: You and Hugh Hefner are locked in a windowless, soundproof room with no cameras or sound recording devices. No one will ever find out what happens in that room. Do you talk to him and try to show him the error of his womanizing ways, or beat the living snot out of him?

That all depends on how he acts. If he pisses me off or says the wrong thing, of course I'll beat the crap out of him. But if he's nice and decent, and willing to listen, then I'll totally talk to him and try to convince him about other avenues of life, other ways of looking at life. The least he can do is listen to me.

Do you think you could take any man in the WWE?

Well, physically, I dont think I could take any man. But I am a woman, I have my ways. I think I could take some of them.

Could I take you?

What? No!

Do you ever get wedgies wearing those wrestling outfits? What do you do if you get a really bad one during a match?

Truth is, there's nothing you really can do. Sometimes you'll get a match with someone who keeps pulling at it, and you're like "Dude! Just stop! Leave it alone!" You don't have a choice, you just have to work with it. I'm not going to stop in the middle of hitting somebody and be like "Oh, I have to be comfortable." I get hit in the face all the time, I'm always uncomfortable.

Excellent point.


Be sure to check out WrestleMania XXIV, live on Sunday, March 30th, at 7e/4p only on Pay Per View.