1. If you're a freshman with a hot older sister, you can hang with the seniors.
  2. Abraham Lincoln can ruin almost any sex dream…ALMOST.
  3. Gillligan's Island was basically the male pornographic fantasy.
  4. The "Every Other Decade Theory" is complete crap. By its calculations, the '70s sucked, but the '00s should be awesome? Wrong!
  5. Coaches in short shorts command respect.
  6. The older I get, the more rules they're going to try to get me to follow. I just gotta keep livin'. L-I-V-I-N.
  7. Ben Affleck is a dick.