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- If you're a freshman with a hot older sister, you can hang with the seniors.
- Abraham Lincoln can ruin almost any sex dream
- Gillligan's Island was basically the male pornographic fantasy.
- The "Every Other Decade Theory" is complete crap. By its calculations, the '70s sucked, but the '00s should be awesome? Wrong!
- Coaches in short shorts command respect.
- The older I get, the more rules they're going to try to get me to follow. I just gotta keep livin'. L-I-V-I-N.
- Ben Affleck is a dick.